An accountant’s dozen SWEETWEETS

I consider today’s journal entry to be a cheat post, because it consists of nothing but a roundup of my Twittering Machine’s recent droppings, the number of which equals a baker’s dozen minus two, which is to say: an accountant’s dozen.

Obligatory image

First things first. Before sharing my SWEETWEETS with you, I must properly dispose of the following image, which was saved on my computer as a file named colorful spark winter joys stars circles.

SWEETWEETS

• Its love for you is true because it’s there for you at all times. I’m talking about pain.
• Try filling your automobile with cheese and garlic.
• You are housin’ and keepin’ it real. You are the best DJ you ever heard. You will undoubtedly sign a recording contract with a music label.
• I’m not even a dolphin anymore; I’m just a dolphin pelt.
• This private zone is virtually dentist-fresh.
• I cried on my keyboard and killed it.
• The greatest bonds can be nonsexual but loving.
• I dreamt that the plural noun syllables actually possessed the same amount of syllables as the singular syllable.
• No joke, I simply love to cringe.
• Croutons are, to me, what a tuna-flavored gumdrop is to a kitty cat.
• I must hastily father some children before I get married.