I was just relaxing at the bus stop when, out of nowhere, my body was impaled by a flaming rod. Now I’m paralyzed. “Somebody please help, I’m going to die — this flaming rod impalement is painful.”
Now let us travel a few blocks away, to the apple orchard. OK, so I’m picking some McIntosh apples. Then, inexplicably, a flaming rod impales my flesh.
Next, let me show you the weathervane on my roof. Come on up here, take my hand. Alright, now, look here — isn’t that neat how it points northwest? Yet, just as I say this, a flaming rod appears and impales me. “Get help, I’m dying soon. Find something to quench this throbbing pain.”
Lastly, let us visit the Burnsville Mall and do some shopping. I ask the clerk at the Big & Tall Menswear Store if they sell white, collared, button-up shirts; but, before I can finish my question, I am yet again impaled by a flaming rod. Will this torment ever end? You wouldn’t believe how much it burns.
The final scene of this production is a medium shot of the rock band Twisted Sister entering the last-mentioned store and posing for the camera.
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