This might be the worst idea I’ve ever had for a weblog post: Today I will give my opinion about a biblical story. Before talking about Genesis chapter 3, however, I want to summarize a few events from chapter 2 – I’ll do this in the next paragraph. But first, here’s a pillar of fire that fell on its side:
After planting a garden called paradise, the god Yahweh sculpts a statue out of mud: a self-portrait. He breathes into this sculpture, causing it to come alive, and then he augments the sculpture to make a second living human. Now these humans see two trees: one that is named after wisdom, and one that is named after life. Yahweh warns the humans: Never eat from the tree of wisdom. He claims that wisdom’s fruit will cause them to die.
At the beginning of the 3rd chapter of Genesis, a snake appears. This snake tells the humans that Yahweh misinformed them about the tree. Wisdom’s fruit will not make you die, says the snake – on the contrary, it will cause you humans to become as wise as Yahweh.
So the humans end up eating from the tree of wisdom.
Now, which character spoke the truth – Yahweh or the snake? If Yahweh was right, the humans should die on the day that they eat the fruit; whereas, if the snake was right, the humans should become wise like Yahweh.
In Genesis 3:22, Yahweh himself admits that the humans have gained divine wisdom, as the snake predicted. And apparently the snake was also right to hint that Yahweh’s warning was a lie: for the humans did not die when they ate the fruit.
Seeing that the humans have acquired divine wisdom, Yahweh banishes them from paradise. Why? Because (as he admits in the same verse above) if the enlightened humans remain in paradise, they might live forever by eating from the tree of life.
In short, Yahweh evicts the humans from paradise in order to bar them from enjoying immortality.
This is one of the many reasons that I do not accept Saint Paul’s theory of salvation. He says that God sacrificed his son so that we humans might live forever. But, in this lovely chapter of the very first biblical book, Paul’s own God admits that the whole reason he banished us from paradise was to deny us access to eternal life.
According to Genesis, the only humans that Yahweh is willing to tolerate are those who lack wisdom. And the only way that I can reconcile this holy scripture with Pauline theory is if “faith in Paul’s Christ” means “surrendering one’s wisdom” – in other words: Repent from all that is divine about your thoughts; for the gates of paradise will readmit only the ignorant.