25 June 2015

Calling all ostriches

What follows is the total number of bullets that I found inside of my presidential candidate.

  • Just because my sweetheart’s pet name for me is “Sunshine Bear” doesn’t mean that I’m not a dangerous criminal.
  • My addiction to English literature has become a problem.
  • I can accept more love than you’re willing to give, so feel free to love me intensely.
  • In hopes of attaining salvation, I gallop at full speed into the rendering plant.
  • Online social networking is like saltwater to the thirst of loneliness.
  • A magical star lured me away from my homeland and brought me to a person whom it declared was the deity incarnate. But I refused to worship.
  • ‘Important’? Oh, I thought you said ‘abortive’!
  • Everything has been and always will be out of whack.
  • John likes the sound of birdsong yet abhors percussive music. How much will he love the octogenarians’ parley?
  • My scent precedes me.

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