Below, I completed one of those questionnaires that was floating around on the social networks a few years ago. Although instructed otherwise, I preferred to answer each question from my heart, because I believe in the progressive spirit of humanity.
What do you say when someone asks if you are OK?
I just finished reading a movie review.
How would you describe yourself?
Ornery, grouchy, moody, difficult, stubborn.
What do you look for in a boyfriend?
At least one shiny frying pan in the cupboard. Hair like a horsetail.
How do you feel today?
I sure could go for a root beer float.
What is your purpose in life?
What is your motto?
Everything for others!
What do your friends think of you?
No thoughts: indifference.
What do your parents think of you?
My parents lament that I am not a stack of crisply ironed pants.
What do you most often think about?
What is 2 + 2?
How many zoas does it take to pull the mobile throne?
What do you think of your best friend?
A verve not unlike tinfoil.
What is your life story?
Born for greatness but tripped on God.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Well-dressed and eloquent. Compassionate. A premium jailbird.
What do you think when you see the person you love?
Here is someone worth rescuing from a lava spill.
What will you dance to at your wedding?
The Little Drummer Boy.
What will they play at your funeral?
What is your hobby?
Affixing flame decals to automobiles.
What is your biggest fear?
What is your biggest secret?
I am the messiah.
What do you want right now?
A stroke of good luck would coax me to accept my fate.
What do you think of your friends?
I love my enemies.