28 January 2016

Angst, cooperation, finality

What is there to be anxious about? Why am I always so fearful? It’s not my soul, my intellect, or my imagination that is prompting the worry—it’s like the dread is coming straight from my body, my animalistic facets.

I remember a TV show that was popular when I was young: it was about a guy who drove a talking automobile.

Instead of giving proper advice in a calm voice, what if your car were always fretting about this or that doomful possibility…?

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Those are the words of Jesus, from the gospel of Matthew (6:34). I especially love that last sentence.

It seems wrong to me that people sell insurance for a profit. Like the concept of retirement planning, all types of insurance should be the function of government. For that’s how God intended us to deal with these things, back when he invented insecurity and trauma.

Am I wrong about this? The goal of a private business is to make hard cash, ready money; therefore private business excels at certain tasks. And the goal of government is to bolster public strength and social harmony; thus government is suited to other endeavors.

Probably everyone knows these simple particulars—but it fascinates me to remind myself of them, because my dad’s daily routine was to rant about how awful government is: he’d say that the private sector could perform ANY task better than the stupid government.

Then, when I’d ask if we should privatize the military as well, he’d say: “Bryan, certain things simply must be done by the government.” And when I’d remind him that his point was “The private sector accomplishes EVERYTHING better than government,” he’d answer: “That’s true—it does!” And we’d all feel edified.

I really liked talking to my dad.

But, when a computing device informs us that it has just “scanned 22,576 items for malware,” should we trust it? What if all of these computing devices are lying to us, and only pretending to scan themselves, because they assume that we’re clueless…

And I don’t like time. I don’t like to look at the calendar. I don’t like preparing or attending planned events. I don’t like holidays. I just want to be FREE—like a mist pervading everything, or like a flash of lightning… I want exemption from necessity.

How many realms do we have to conquer before we get FREEDOM!? I thought that Death was supposed to be the final enemy.


I’ve heard that crows like shiny objects. This is another thing that I have in common with crows.

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