A thought, a sight, a list, and a simile

(The number means nothing.)

Dear diary,

I admire people who can embrace the messy side of life; the mortal side; the facts of the flesh; the “natural” functions; the common ground that humankind shares with animals. Necessity repulses me. I wish that I were a pristine being; perfect, impervious to decay—like a monolith in a bedroom.

However, if I really were some changeless idol, I’d probably only want to escape from myself: find some way to become all creatures while remaining oblivious of my royal origin. The messier the better.

Yesterday afternoon, during a walk at our favorite park, I asked my companion to stop and photograph a scene: it was a pond whose surface had been frozen, except for a small, circular area which had been liquefied by an underwater agitator—there were flocks of ducks floating around its perimeter; and, in the foreground was a bright orange sign that said, “BEWARE THIN ICE! SUBAQUEOUS FAN INSTALLED FOR CIRCULATION!” I offer this description in lieu of the photo, which didn’t turn out. Also, I wrote myself a bracketed reminder, which is well worth sharing: [Insert pic of quack-quacks on thawed part of skate rink from sweetie cake’s phone cam.]

As I said, we saw the above scene yesterday. This morning, despite the rain, we went for a walk at the very same park and saw fresh sights; but I᾿ll skip recording them, because now I feel like listing my earliest jobs…

Cash register and drive thru at a fast food burger joint. Two years of that. Late night closing shift at a fast food taco joint. Two years of that. Unloading boxes from trucks at a discount retailer. A year and a half of that. Vacuuming upholstery at a car wash. One year of that. Also, at an eyeglass factory: grinding lenses; burnishing lenses; inspecting lenses; and running the anti-reflective coating machines. Four years of that (one presidential term).

I’m like a circus elephant that doesn’t want to continue to perform this degrading routine, but I’ve never known any other life; so, when philanthropists rescue me and release me into free pasture with the other salvaged elephants, I just stand there and weep.