23 June 2016

Attn (JK)

I like this world. I think the rulers here are basically good. If you need food, you can go to the store and buy it. But some people can’t get food this way, but that’s OK.

And there’s an ongoing discussion about weapons. Which weapons are permissible to wield? Should everyone carry a kitchen knife, to protect their dog from being bitten by a local poet? Or should each individual own a nuclear missile shooter, in case of hard times?

One thing’s for sure: it’s good to be alive. That’s why the first thing that every infant does when it enters the world is smile and thank its mother for bearing it.

And coupons deserve to be cherished because they lower the price of the items that you are purchasing.

Let’s say that you dedicate half of your life to fighting for equality. Don’t worry: only a single moment is required to reverse all of your hard work. A child may spend hours constructing a sandcastle at the beach, yet it only takes an instant — one swift kick — to conquer the world. And sometimes spacetime annihilates things on its own; some disasters are natural: it was not human businesspeople but the ocean itself that slew ninety percent of all sealife, last fiscal quarter.

And whatever type of movies that you hate will remain popular forever. Year after year you will see the same types of films being cobbled together. They are based on old TV serials or comic books.

And no matter what era you are born into, the substance that you desire will remain outlawed, while the drugs that you abominate are prescribed to all.

And pop entertainers will annoy the heck out of you. Year after year, just like the movies that you hate, these pop singers, pop bands, and late night talk show hosts will flood the market. And their material will get worse and worse, as if someone behind the curtain of reality keeps twisting a knob labeled “Vex the Sensitive Mind.”

No comments:


More from Bryan Ray