02 March 2017

Just two warmed-over straggler-thoughts

I hope you don’t mind this picture of paper scraps: I was desperate for a visual to accompany my entry, so I quickly took some shears to the cover of a free local magazine and taped the fragments wherever they fell on the stationary. Then I photographed the thing and tossed the original in the recycling bin.

Now that I look at it, I regret that I did not scribble a bunch of messages in the empty spaces.

Dear diary,

Alcohol and cannabis. I offer up these terms to the forthcoming generation of historians, so as to provoke an argument about the team of substances that the citizens of the U.S.A. once elected to replace their parents.

Say that archeologists in the future are excavating a site, and they unearth a valuable piece of prehistory’s puzzle. They infer an empire. Now they wonder: What were the natives of this inferno addicted to? And what were they arguing about the legalization of? So it would be nice if a cardholding member of that primeval tragedy had left a note in plain language relaying the facts. Opioids, etc.

Think of a heart-shaped container filled with foil-wrapped chocolate candies: How nice it looks. But now think of the same container after its contents have been eaten: It’s just a crumpled waste in a disfigured box. This is how entire solar systems of planets will appear, once humankind drains out their natural resources.

What if we were to count all the houses that are currently abandoned and discover that their number is greater than the amount of people who are homeless?

I’ve heard politicians claim that we cannot implement a system to save people from poverty, because that would cause the economy to implode. But the economy already imploded; it looks like a circus tent with all the supports removed. How much more can a dead thing possibly die?

And why do people walk their dogs on thin ice? I saw a guy walking his dogs on thin ice today. They were medium-size, dorked-out, off-white dogs that resembled sickly sheep. I’d prefer to see actual sheep… or even pigs. It would be nice if a huge, majestic eagle were to soar forth and snatch this guy in its talons.

And what about the style of economics that says: Feed the greediest people first, for they’ll eventually share their food with everyone. How long are the starving multitudes expected to wait before society concludes this idea doesn’t work? …Six thousand eons? OK, will do.

Money inflates and deflates; that’s how you can tell it’s a fantasy. A loaf of bread maintains its physical properties regardless of how you price it. You can trick the economy into giving you goods by offering counterfeit money; but you can’t trick your body into giving you health by drinking contaminated water.

Am I wrong about any of this stuff? If you catch me in an error, feel free to send an email to my fan club.


In memory of my post from seventy-seven days ago, I copied this pair of entries straight from the dictionary:

A carboy is a large glass or plastic bottle, usually encased in a protective basket or crate and often used to hold corrosive liquids. [Persian qarābah, from Arabic qarrābah, big jug.]

A demijohn is a large, narrow-necked bottle made of glass or earthenware, usually encased in wickerwork. [Probably alteration of French dame-Jeanne : dame, lady; see DAME + Jeanne, personal name.]

I like etymologies. Big jug. Dame-Jeanne. I wish it would never end, the lexicographer’s archeology. What is qarrābah’s bad parentage? Why does anything move in the direction it goes? How did we all arrive here, in this ditch? Genesis 2:24 “…they shall be one flesh.” Maybe the initial Bang was like the whole universe finally exclaiming ENOUGH IS ENOUGH; then rising up, abandoning prayer and becoming an activist: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother…”

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