Coaxing the minutes to pass

Here’s a pic of a calculator and a phone lying face-down together.

To whom it may concern,

The only reason I’m writing to myself now is that I have an hour to kill before my sweetheart comes home, and it’s hard not to turn on the TV and watch Oliver Stone’s Putin Interviews, which are my favorite new filmwork, and part three of four is airing this instant, but my sweetheart made me promise to wait for her so that we could watch it together. Gol darn I like the new Twin Peaks, but I really really REALLY love Oliver Stone.

So what else is new? I gotta come up with a few matters to think and type, to help time fly. Well on the Republican side you have Donald T., he’s the U.S. president. I wonder what he’s doing right now, what he’s thinking about. Does he actually believe in supply-side economics? Is his favorite book really the Bible, as I’ve heard him claim?

And then there’s Hillary C., who ran for president on the Democrat ticket. I wonder what it’d be like if I could spend an evening with her, talking about average stuff; nothing political, just a conversation about life and learning, people, the heart, money, religion, automobile engines. How much of what she says does she believe? What makes her tick?

Here’s a tip if you’re driving a motorized vehicle and you encounter a bicycle that has the right-of-way, requiring you to stop and let the bicycle pass before you: You should stop very far back, as far back as possible, at an exaggerated distance extremely removed, so as to indicate that you have no intention of hitting the biker; for this will give the bicyclist confidence that she can proceed without risking her life, and she’ll therefore pass before you in a flash, and you’ll get to be on your way even quicker. Whereas if you barely come to a rolling stop and let the grille of your vehicle creep closer and closer to the bicyclist, as a way of signifying your impatience and also to intimidate the rider, this will make the bicyclist freeze up and fear to act on her right to proceed: you’ll therefore both enter a state of deadlock, and it’ll take you even longer to get to your journey’s end.

I’d like to learn how to solder, so that I can replace the water faucets in my house. Also if I can become proficient at operating a nail gun, I’ll have a better skill set. Then I’ll be much sought-after when Armageddon blows all the doors off their hinges and busts up the plumbing.

I read somewhere that God created death and life in order to... Oh, hi! My sweetheart just came home... Talk to you later!