1st entry with writer's block

I hope it does not come off as facetious or purposely disgusting that I post so often these pictures of food from adverts: I'm simply puzzled by them. All I did to this one here, as editor, is to cut out the center of the red circular graphic, to remove the price; then the ad that showed thru from the page beneath (the image comes from an actual newspaper) happened to be red as well; so that explains the top-left graphic. But the burger & the wiener in front of it were positioned just so. The display fascinates me, becuz, altho I assume that it's supposed to be enticing, I'm shocked by its symmetry. And the differing hues of the meats arrest my attention.

Dear diary,

Well, as I explained in yesterday’s cliffhanger, now I have writer’s block. So I won’t be contributing to the…

How do we know that writer’s block is even bad? Maybe it’s good. Maybe writers are like cicadas to the LORD, since God perceives all silent text quite audibly; so when a blogger like me comes down with writer’s block, God exclaims in relief: “Finally that bug shut up.”

I realize that the foregoing paragraph relies on two false premises: First, that the song of the cicada is annoying; and, second, that what pleases God is good. Forgive my elderly indiscretion.

Since writing is the only activity which can quell (or at least muffle) my anxiety, today was a bad day to contract this disease (again, I’m speaking of the horrible malady writer’s block); because I’m very anxious now, on account of the Winter Weather Warning, which my sweetheart informs me was issued mere moments ago to the place where we dwell: Thief River Falls in Minnesota. Twas an edict from our King. We’ve been told that tonight & tomorrow this proud State of ours shall break ALL records for the Coldest Temperature Ever. Not even Pluto gets this cold. (And when I say Pluto, I mean the pseudo planet from our solar system, not the Chief Executive Officer of the Underworld.) So the only thing I can do to stop myself from trembling and weeping is to ventriloquise with my quill pen. And, since I have zero views left to inter, I must needs scavenge the events of our reality. (Talk about sad...)

I think the reason that wealthy folks don’t help the rest of society is that, since they themselves are feelingless, they assume that the rest of society is likewise feelingless; therefore they argue “If I aid society — feed the hungry, clothe the naked, house the homeless — the first thing that this revived society shall do is come and steal all my possessions. For that’s what I would do, if I were them. In fact, that’s what I DID, for I live as one of the rich cuz I stole all their shit.” But the hungry & naked & homeless souls that comprise this nation of honest folk would never…

Capitalism is held together by violence. That’s why it’s distinguished to remain non-violent.

And I wanna explain an idea to clarify my stance against capitalism, for all those “small businessmen” out there. At least thrice daily, I am confronted by some saint at the mall who introduces himself (with great pride) as a budding entrepreneur — he gets up in my face and says to me: “I own a mom-and-pop shop that sells erotic baptismals, and I recognize you from the airwaves: every day on the radio I hear you ranting and raving against the so-called evils of capitalism; well I’m here to tell you that capitalism is a GOOD SYSTEM, not an evil horror: for capitalism grabbed this nation by its neck-fat and raised it up out of barbarism and placed it upon the pedestal of civility — verily, verily, I say unto thee: Thou art a Man of Straw for suggesting otherwise; I wish that I could punch you in the face.” – Here the stranger punches me in the face, but then he immediately says: “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have done that — I lost my temper. Will you forgive me?”

And I answer the man and say, “Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.” [Mark 2:5]

And the stranger says to me, “Why do you thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only?” [Mark 2:7]

& I answer: “I love how you reason so zanily! But now ask yourself: Is it easier to assure some business owner who punched you, ‘Thy sins be forgiven thee’; or to say ‘Heal thyself’ to this cut, which thy Team Zissou ring just gave to my lip? [See The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) for details.] In my opinion, it’s actually more difficult to forgive a self-styled small businessman for being so ignorant as to pledge allegiance to the system of capitalism than it is to mend a cut with a tube of ChapStick; however, just so that ye may know that the blogger Bryan Ray hath power on earth to forgive bad ideas AS WELL AS to dress and heal gaping physical wounds, here, I’ll wave my magic wand…”

Then I apply some balm, and immediately the cut on my lip appears glossier than a cover-girl; thus I lean forth to give my opponent an holy kiss, but the stranger pulls away and exclaims:

“Not till now have I witnessed a contract agreed upon so fashionably.” [Mark 2:8-12]

So I answer, “Yeah, it’s called ‘The Art of the Deal’; and I’ve mastered it. But here’s the moral that you simply MUST learn from this adventure. Just because you lockstep with the shibboleths of small business does not mean that capitalism is the proper drug for you. For here’s what you seem to want to do, with your mom-and-pop erotic baptismal racket: You desire to translate your commodity into MONEY, so that you can spend the latter on improving your commodities. But capitalism starts with MONEY and says: How do I make more MONEY on this MONEY by translating this MONEY briefly into commodities (e.g. erotic baptismals) for the sole purpose of selling said commodities for YUGE PROFITS; in other words: money-money-money!!! That is to say, you small businessmen place your services or commodities at the center of your existence, as opposed to capitalists who place MONEY ALONE at the center of existence. And we communists and socialists place community and society (read: PEOPLE) at the center of existence; so we are slightly annoyed that you small businessmen value your services and commodities above actual human beings, nevertheless we would rather be friends with you and fight against the capitalists as our common enemy, because, if we don’t, those bloodthirsty fiends shall ruin us both.

“Let us outlaw capitalism, therefore. Only then, once we’ve escaped this money-centered existence, you & I can return to arguing about whether we should center our future more upon supplies & commodities (as you say) OR upon community & society (as I say). We can have a big battle and shake hands afterwards. The noble merchants versus the tender poets. It’ll be fun. We can wrestle hard at the debates, and then hug when it’s finished and go have drinks together. We can do spouse-swaps, and even pay a visit to the mansions of our shared competition, the foreign nations overseas, and invite them to join us. When they consent to participate in our global orgy, we can, if we’re lucky (that is to say: if God favors our plan) finagle a situation where OUR leaders accidentally impregnate (or are impregnated by) THEIR leaders; thus shall all of us, at last, be related legally as well as biologically, and then we can start treating the population of the globe as one coherent family of beings, rather than so many separate money-interests, since we’re all now obviously present-family, as we’ve been, perhaps less obviously, all along, PAST-FAM.”