1st coat

Here’s a study that I did in preparation for tomorrow’s obligatory image. True artists will always conduct a study before attempting an actual masterpiece. The artwork that I shall share with tomorrow’s blog post will constitute the masterpiece, which shall sell for multiple dollars; but this here study is just the preliminary sketch that I, the artist, created in order to get a hold on my subject.

STUDY (in preparation for tomorrow’s obligatory image):

Dear diary,

So now I’ve reached the part of my own entry where I’m tired and bored, and I look back and realize that I wrote an entry yestermorn which I didn’t have time to publish, so I’ll just add it to the end of this present post, and make the thing a double entry. (By that last phrase, I do not mean to reference a system of bookkeeping in which each transaction is entered as a debit in one account and a credit in another — that’s double-entry accounting — no, I mean something more like a double feature, which is what it’s called when a cinema palace from the 1940s undertakes to screen consecutively two full-length motion pictures.) This latter one sucks cuz it was uninspired, and, as usual, written under duress; but I’m counting on the fact that my audience is drunk at this point...

[NOTE. The above was originally the final paragraph of what I will publish as tomorrow’s diary entry. I had intended to append today’s entry to the end of it, because it’s true that, after I wrote it, I didn’t have time to share it before I began writing what will, in the fullness of time, prove to be the subsequent entry; and I had half a mind to share both confessions together; but when I read the first one over (that is: the following text), I realized that if I posted it here, on its own, as a single feature and not as an unwanted bonus, I could cast my vote for quantity over quality. Cuz that’s how ads are done nowadays. Thanks for understanding.]

Dear diary,

Has politics at last finally outdone religion? Why am I even asking this? I guess I needed something to say, to begin this flop. I don’t even know what politics is. And I don’t understand religion either.

I glanced at my junk mail before writing, just now, involuntarily. That was a big mistake. It’s always a mistake to do anything before birthing an essay, otherwise the blank that you blanked will pervade your message. It’s better for all compositions to remain pure blank.

Do I like the idea that people hire people to "keep" people’s houses, and they call these people housekeepers? No, I do not like that idea. I mean, if you enjoy keeping house, then just do it as a hobby, like everyone else; but don’t sign a contract with some homeowners to snoop around their abode.

If I were attracted to building model airplanes, I’d dedicate my free-time every evening to welding together plane parts and greasing jet engines. I’d come home from my day-job (I’m a schoolteacher) and escape into my leisure pursuit, my amateur interest, my sideline. I’d eventually end up with a drivable helicopter in my backyard, cuz of all the man hours I dedicated to my pet project.

Likewise, if my heart were fixed on housekeeping, I’d invest in a skeleton key, so that every house that I pass, during late morning walks, I could just use my key to enter and begin dusting, polishing and rearranging the furniture. If the family who lives there comes out and greets me, I’d bathe the adults gladly. I’d build them a sauna room, from scratch, and waterproof it by hand, just for the occasion. And I’d teach their children poetry, by reading books to them; and they’d yawn and ask “How long is this rap supposed to continue?” And I’d school them and say, “It’s not a rap it’s a poem” and then I’d slap them hard. (I really hate children.)

II

Do I enjoy cutting and repairing drywall? No, not really. However:

Most people should break out most of the walls in their home. Not every home is a house, I understand. But if you have walls, even in your apartment, I say: Break them out. They’re probably not load-bearing, which means that they’re not supporting anything beyond someone’s prejudicial stance about boundary lines. And once we eliminate ALL national borders, we will have, at last, achieved an habitable planet.

I myself live in Minnesota. (I’ve said this before.) If I desire to travel to Iowa this afternoon, I don’t need to bribe the police at the gate. There is no gate between our precincts. We can freely wander in and out of each other’s territory, and buy and sell goods, without causing any stress to the GDP: the Gross Domestic Product. Imagine if this were the case between all Muslim-Christian nations and all Jewish-Muslim nations. Basically the only wall remaining on Earth, at that point, would be the wall that separates the bad afterlife from the good one. And the bad afterlife would end up paying its fair share of taxes, to contribute to the health and welfare of the…

III

So, like I said, before starting to write this entry, I read that our new governor has been spending his free evenings pursuing his latest hobby: Talking to the citizens of his state about the dangers of health care. He claims that he’s trying to figure out what problems Minnesotans are having with our current health-care system. (We have no system: it’s just winner-take-all.) And his goal is to lower costs and widen 'access' to coverage. What I find funny about this is that Mr. Stupid Governor never asks himself the question “Why not just get rid of all private health-insurance companies?” Cuz the very notion of paying to insure anything that should be considered a basic need is simply barbaric. Insurance, by definition, should be a gamble that you take on luxury items. But Mr. Stupid never asks himself this. Or perhaps he has indeed considered this angle, yet he’s realized that to implement a solution — that is, to eliminate the concept of private health insurance — would disrupt the fabric of our society to a marvelous degree. Well I say that the fabric of our society has already been disrupted to the WORST degree by the years & years of adhering to the current anti-system. But this type of disruption is permissible, because We the People have proven that we’re able to suffer thru it.

& all that has occurred may be counted on to continue reoccurring; whereas whatever is unprecedented, such as the elimination of parasitical entities from the economic thingamajig, would be a bridge too far, because violence should never travel from poor to rich but always only from rich to poor.

Poor people are X because you can abuse them with impunity.

& everyone’s to blame for whatever happens to them. If a hurricane strikes your house, you’re to blame: you should have considered that possibility and addressed it like a man, when the mega-contractor who built your house before you were born decided to cut every corner during its construction and pocket the savings.

IV

I wonder why the wildlife of our planet can’t learn to drink poison. For I’ve heard that there was some ancient king who just drank it bit by bit, starting at a little and ending up at full lethal doses, so that ultimately he didn’t even wince when downing each shot glass of pesticide, for he’d taught his physical framework to make friends with evil. Similarly, vermin like swans & bees & tygers should learn to fortify their respective constitutions, because the phases of the business cycle (at least at this present iteration of history) should never be able to surprise any serious entrepreneur.