Dear diary,
So Jehovah walks away, after delivering his final speech in the scene above. (I’m talking about the one that just occurred: where Abram was with Hagar & Sarah at the latter’s abode in Mamre, and Jehovah is outdoors spying, until, no longer being able to resist the impulse, he interrupts their conversation and eventually barges into the room thru the draped entryway; then ultimately he storms off, yet not without offering one last remark from the window.)
OK, so, now, after all that has ended, on the morrow, Sarah rises and goes to visit her ancient friend Vulcan, the playmate of her other longtime friend Venus.
Vulcan owns a forge where he performs metalworking. Sarah knocks at the entrance, using the devil-shaped door-knocker, and Vulcan’s assistant pulls open the heavy slab with both of his hands.
“Good morning, Perth!” Sarah smiles. “Is Vulcan there?”
Perth steps aside and Sarah can now see, in the background, amid the flames and the molten rock, Vulcan himself. His image is rippling and disfigured — a mirage caused by the lava’s heat. Vulcan holds up his blacksmith’s hammer as a greeting, while, over the roar of the flames, he bellows: “Sarah, my love! Come in!”
Sarah approaches and explains the reason for her visit. She shows Vulcan the ring that Jehovah God has given to her: “I’m just wondering how hard it would be for you to make duplicates of this ring. I want a lot of them — like, hundreds — because I plan to give them as gifts to all my friends. Is that something that you could do?”
“Absolutely!” sez Vulcan. “How soon do you need them?”
“Well, I was hoping to throw a big party tonight, a baby shower for the seed that I have been promised—”
“A baby shower for Ishmael? But the lad’s a young man! aren’t you a little late?”
“No, not Ishmael — this will be his twin sibling — I just found out that I’m expecting another son: Isaac.”
“But how can they be twins when . . . Wait, you’re gonna name him ‘Laughter Guaranteed’!?”
“Look, never mind; it’s apparently the Pantheon’s plan. I just need the rings: say, about 700 of them, by this afternoon. Is that doable?”
“Sure! No problem,” sez Vulcan. “Sorry to be so nosy — I just don’t get much company here in the forge, so I love to hear all the gossip about the town-life.”
“I understand,” sez Sarah; “but this is no gossip — it’s the gospel truth: I got the pregnancy results confirmed by our doctor last night. Oh, and, of course, you and Venus are invited to the shower. And you, too, Perth.”
Vulcan and his assistant both bow low, with solemn formality, in the sweltering heat.
“Thank you, Sarah,” sez Vulcan. “Check back in about an hour, and I’ll have those rings ready.”
“Gracias,” Sarah gives him a kiss.
Later in the day, Sarah hand-delivers invitations to all who exist on or around Abram’s estate. This includes all who work at his law firm, every herdwoman from his farmstead, all the other acquaintances that she’s met in the outskirts and hinterlands, plus everyone who is, at that time, staying in Abram’s hotels. And each invitation comes in a diamond-flap envelope that contains its own ring on a thin golden cord. (This cord is so that the ring doesn’t fall on the ground and get lost when you open the invite. Simply unlatch the latch, remove the ring and slide it onto your finger; then you can either discard the cord, or melt it down into a miniature calf-shaped paperweight.) So all the townsfolk get rings.
And Sarah also gives a ring to her travelmate Abraham, the prairie lawyer, and to all the employees at Mr. Lot’s Railroad Monopoly. And she gives a ring to her son Ishmael, and to her playmate Hagar.
Just to be clear, all the above stuff happened around the same time as the previous stuff — the visitation from Jehovah, and the weird news about the second birth — it all followed upon Abraham’s 99th birthday anniversary, after Ishmael had become a teenager. Rings were given by Sarah to every person in the country, on the occasion of Isaac’s baby shower. And Vulcan danced for Sarah at the party.
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