Another one that slipped like X from my clutch

Dear diary,

Why are insects always trying to hide themselves under rocks, or scurry off into the shadows; and they always dash toward crevices to escape from being seen... Don’t they know that they are beautiful? They should be proud of their fine suits. What other creatures have such ornate & elaborate exterior skeletal material? Human soldiers stare at them in awe, because insects are permanently armored. Some bugs have eyes on stalks, which grope around & touch things — they actually feel with their eyes (human eyes can only see): what’s next, smelling with your tongue? You’re liable to outdo the lizard people!

Seriously, I think that bugs are wrong to be so shy about their good looks. Instead of preferring the shadows, I think they should come out into the full glory of the noontime sunshine, and stand and be proud. Even God’s own firstborn agrees with me here — for Luke sez that Jesus sez:

No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light. (Luke 11:33)

Also Matthew even allows his Jesus, at least this once, to agree with Luke’s Jesus:

Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bush. (Matthew 5:15)

Thus Jesus is anti bush-burning.

Now, some hecklers among the insects might complain that I’m only quoting from the Greek scriptures, the so-called New Testament, and thus they might doubt my advice to them; but, just for those naysayers, I will give also a witness from the Hebrew scriptures, the so-called Old Testament:

Now Moses led his flock to the backside of the desert, and came to mount Horeb. And the LORD himself appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.
     And Moses said, “I will now turn aside, and take this blaze from under the bush where it is burning, and place it on a candlestick; so that it may give light to all the world.” (Exodus 3:1-3)

This was the day that Evangelical Christianity was invented — the idea of spreading the gospel to everyone in the whole synagogue and the surrounding metropolitan areas, rather than just keeping the good news hidden in one solemn room and calling it “THE HOLY OF HOLIES” and putting up signs that say “KEEP OUT” and “BEWARE OF GOD”.

Yeah, for some reason my recent entries have all hovered around the subject of deific facemasks. I don’t know why that concept is on my mind so often, of late. Such as the heads that the divinities of Egypt sport… or perhaps they’re actually their real countenances, those animal visages — lion, ox, eagle, human... I wonder why they never choose to look like bees or beetles? Even Kafka, when he wrote his famous tale The Metamorphosis, did not dare to render his protagonist as an actual bug; or at least he took shelter under the technique of plausible deniability, by employing a phrase that could be interpreted according to each reader’s wish — for “ungeheures Ungeziefer” could mean any type of vermin.

So what’s the deal? Why are insects so ashamed of their natural resplendence, and why does everyone from Authors of Gods to the very Gods Themselves appear to wish to avoid being associated with insectkind?

Who knows, and who cares. — This is what I hate about composing responsible essays: one must always stick to the topic. I’m tired of this subject now: I’d prefer to change it. My attraction towards it has entirely abated; whereas, up to this point, my interest was intense, because it was unforced. Yes, hitherto, I’ve cared genuinely about the idea that bugs wanna cover themselves up and live a life of modesty, as if they just ate from the tree of wisdom and now they’re embarrassed to be seen by their creator lest he prove as sensually attractive to them as they (the first bug-couple) now appear to each other:

They heard the noise of the LORD God buzzing around the garden in the cool of the day: and Insect A. and her mate (Insect B.) hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.

And the LORD God called unto Insect A., making a rapid droning vibration with his legs, which by interpretation meant: “Why art thou hiding in the gloom?”

And Insect A. answered with a clicking noise that meant: “I heard you buzzing about in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was uncloaked by darkness, and my exoskeleton is rather impressive in daylight; therefore I hid myself.”

And God said, “Who told thee that thou wast nakedly splendiferous? Hast thou chewed tunnels thru the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not chew tunnels thru?”

And Insect A. said, “The reptile whom thou appointed to be the tour guide for me & my mate (Insect B.) instructed us how to sniff the air with our tongues. The scent of that fruit tree is irresistible! — you should know this: after all, you created it.” (Genesis 3:8-12)

Also I’m unnerved by the fact that some bugs have green blood, and some have yellow-orange blood, instead of the proper color of blood, which should be either blue or red. Or maybe the substance that I saw oozing was not even blood; for does this gelatinous quintessence even get pumped? Do insects own hearts?

I think that if you find a bug carcass and unscrew the screws that hold together its casing, its interior will look identical to the guts of a calculator: the kind that are solar-powered (which heaps additional suspicion on their preference for murk) — basically its innards will consist of a circuit board and silver connections, which are how its brain sends and receives vital info about what barters humans are making in daily life. Cuz I think bugs are from the future, and they were invented by the deities of futurity to spy on us: they observe our shopping habits and notify their authorities, the Rulers of the Manufacturing Class, so that they can prepare products that they’ll be able to trust will sell. For even gods need a sustainable economy — money doesn’t grow on trees, only the fruit of wisdom does — and the best type of business model is one that requires perpetual expansion in all directions, so that ultimately you end up taking over every other company among your competition, and even annexing sovereign nations unto your monopoly; & then you will figure out how to bleed backwards into the past and dominate the market of extinct beings like humankind, via miniscule robots of espionage which are controlled by remote.

The problem is that once I lose interest in the given theme, I can’t think of anything better to take its place. So I guess I’ll just leave this treatise as it is: a boring study that does not stray from its topic. It’s probly so dull that it’ll earn a place in one of the scientific journals. God, that would suck: to be known as the author of a stupid essay on bugs.