A fowl day

(Today’s obligatory image is the companion piece to yesterday’s obligatory image.)

Dear diary,

I woke up and walked down to the town square and looked at the bulletin board, and the first message that I saw was this one from Kristi O., titled “Chickens — tame!”

We have two chickens walking around in our yard this morning and they're very tame! They'll greet you, follow you, etc. Any idea where they might have come from and who I should contact??

And then there were three notes pinned underneath Kristi’s message — the first was from Shaun P.:

This is the seventh post that I’ve seen this week about wandering chickens.

Next, Nancy S. wrote:

Chickens rarely get lost and if they are happy they are not in a hurry to end their outing. Don’t worry: those girls will be home before dusk.

And the last scrap posted was from Branum L.:

In Key West, chickens run like squirrels, they are actually protected by island law.

So all I wanna do with my entry for today is imagine how those chickens actually enjoyed their escapade. You’ll recall that Kristi O.’s original message stated that there were only two chickens in her yard; so it shouldn’t be too difficult to track down their movements and current whereabouts, using modern clairvoyance.

II: Unraveling the Mystery

The first chicken is named Gina. She left the coop early and went to the yard of Kristi O. That’s the First Act of her journey. (Each chicken’s daily journey contains three Acts.)

The other chicken is named Suzanne. She left the coop just after sunrise and went to the yard of Kristi O. with her good friend Gina. This was the First Act of Suzanne’s Adventure 2020 August 15.

Next, the chickens Gina and Suzanne crossed the street to visit the bakery. (Kristi O. lives across the street from a bakery.) They pecked around on the pavement in the parking lot for a few moments, hoping to peck at something useful, but everything they pecked was poetry. Tough luck for Team Gina-Suzanne. And that’s it for Act Two.

Now, for the Third and Final Act of Suzanne and Gina’s Friday Evening Chicken Bonanza, let us allow them to walk past the yard of the famous author Bryan Ray:

Bryan tries to give them a book apiece, free of charge (he offers Gina The Stickup Continuum and tries to get Suzanne to take Why I Am Not a Surrealist); but his offers are ignored, even rebuffed in Suzanne’s case: for she pecks Bryan’s wrist, as he is holding forth his gift. Thus, the next two days, the place on Bryan’s wrist where Suzanne pecked it swells up to about the size of a credit card, which is roughly equivalent to the width of six old king’s thumbs.

Of course, due to this minor injury, Bryan fears he is going to die; however, everything turns out fine in the end.

P.S.

Then Suzanne and Gina continue down the street and enter the liquor store. They find cash in the register, plenty of 80-proof spirits, and they even make a new friend in Grace the cashier.

As the chickens are strutting home with their daily score, they encounter some human schoolchildren who are playing a game of cricket. The chickens stop and watch for a spell. The children play four games while the chickens are watching. The first game is won by the red team; the second is won by the blue team; then the third goes to red, and the fourth to blue. The chickens know not what to make of this pastime, but they greatly enjoy observing it take place.

When the last game concludes, the chickens hoist up their satchel of cash and their box filled with vodka, and they haul these winnings safely back home to their roost. Their farmer, whose name is La Man, welcomes them warmly into the coop. He ruffles their hair and gives their tail feathers a pat, as they walk to their respective nesting zones; then La Man shouts: “Sweet dreams, my little chickadees,” and he turns out the electric light bulb by flipping a switch. Therefore a good day was had by all.