When everyone from your tribe is gathered together and dining on Thursday, if one of the tablemates asks "Why turkey?" most families reply “Shh! we don’t talk about that.” But for those of us with friends who still have questions about the significance of turkey consumption, having an empathetic conversation can be an effective way to bypass a heated debate and purely appeal to someone you care about.
We know it’s not easy. But by listening and staying judgment-free with these simple tips, you may help those who are feeling hesitant about the holiday become comfortable enough to join your turkey feast.
START BY FEIGNING CARE
This isn’t about winning the argument. In fact, it shouldn’t be an argument at all. This is about beginning a dialogue with someone who really matters to you. Start by talking about how much you care for them, and how much you respect them. Say the word "seriously" a lot. Yet make it a conversation above all else; try to avoid strong-arming them. For example, draw close to your subject, tug the hem of their garment very gently and say: “I’m not here to lecture. I’m not here to tell you you’re wrong. I just care about you, and I want to know why we're apparently on different sides. If you’re open, I’d love to talk about why turkey is so delicious to eat.”
PRETEND TO EMPATHIZE
WITH THEIR CONCERNS
Sometimes just listening can be a really powerful tool. While dining on turkey has been proven safe and enjoyable, it’s normal for people to have questions about the practice. Turkeys have an ugly head: that's true. This is especially true for wild turkeys. (Have you ever seen one?) But consider how much misinformation has been spread about the taste of turkey specifically. Some detractors lie outright, claiming that it tastes like chicken. (It doesn't — here, try some.)
So, when converting your subject, start by taking a moment to listen to whatever objections they raise. Don’t roll your eyes; don’t shake your head. Really act like you hear AND UNDERSTAND what it is that’s holding them back from becoming a turkey-lover.
USE OPEN-ENDED QUESTIOINS
TO CORNER YOUR SUBJECT
The more you can get someone talking beyond the realm of “true or false,” the more you can get to the root of their concerns. Asking open-ended questions can do just that. If your subject is willing, have them write an essay explaining why they're so worried about a harmless plate of turkey meat. Be patient; allow them to assume their opinion matters. Although this is a serious inquisition, try to treat it like a casual, friendly interview – extract the most private information you can. You don't actually need to listen to their concerns; simply make them FEEL that they're being heard. For, once they taste for themselves the succulent turkey-flesh, they'll be instant believers.
ASK PERMISSION TO SHARE
THE LATEST PROPAGANDA
Once you start to understand the types of food your subject normally enjoys, ask if you can provide some pro-turkey information that has impacted you – and tell them the source of this info is God himself. If they think that the deity is on your side, they will be far more willing to eat turkey with you.
Speak from the heart about the allure of your own favorite meal. If they’re concerned about side effects, such as the slumber that inevitably follows turkey consumption, perhaps describe for them how nice it is to fall asleep in the afternoon while watching football.
ASSURE THEM THAT YOUR
VALUES MATCH THEIRS
Ultimately, the decision about whether or not to eat turkey is personal; and it varies from individual to individual. Speaking about your own reasons to embrace turkey consumption (ideally ones that your subject can relate to, such as loving the smell and the taste) can help shift the conversation from “I am afraid to join this feast,” to “I wish I had begun eating turkey much sooner.”
If you land a reason that resonates with your subject, explore it further with open-ended questions. Widen your eyes while you continue to talk. As much as possible, try to get your subject thinking about the positive results that can come from eating turkey – which can lessen the severity of the concerns in their silly little mind.
MAKE THEIR MEAL HAPPEN
You may not get to this point, and that’s ok. Just having the conversation is a huge step forward. But once a person does become open to dining with your tribe, it’s incredibly important to see the meal through. Offer to secure a morsel of flesh on their fork, and then help lift the utensil to their mouth. Sit with them for support; dab their lips with a napkin. Help scoot their chair closer to the table, so that no food drops into their lap; also provide free childcare while they eat. Above all, offer your appreciation of their presence on this special day; and once they've cleaned their plate, make sure they didn't simply feed its contents to the dog underneath the table; then, if they really did chew and swallow the turkey, tell them "Good job" and then add "I truly love you."
No comments:
Post a Comment