How the World Ended

In case you didn’t know how the world ended, I will tell you about it now. For I know all the details. 

On the 7th of April 1893, after swerving around for a moment, the world went kablam. It crashed and burned: Existence came to a full, round stop. All the buildings fell onto their sides, and all the police cars got sucked into the abyss, because there was a black hole that opened up underneath them. Everybody was screaming; then there was a loud blip noise, and three big pieces of matter came out to make their appearance, and they performed a routine — “but,” as Huck Finn says in his book, “they didn’t know no more how to dance than a kangaroo does”. Nevertheless, this sight made me so scared that I soaked my britches. I could barely believe that the world had reached its conclusion. It was unfortunate, and there wasn’t even a beautiful or sublime thing about it. This made me sad, so I decided to overdose on forbidden fruit; then I removed my offending organ for the kingdom of heaven.