Klaatu & Gort Help the Little Children Apprehend Evildoers

In the 1951 movie The Day the Earth Stood Still, a flying saucer lands in Washington D.C. carrying a pair of travelers: Klaatu the humanlike alien, and his tall robot Gort. In the film, this duo does not befriend a group of little children and help them bring two depraved criminals to justice, but I would like to imagine that they did. So, here we go:

Supervillain 1

Klaatu the extraterrestrial and his large robot Gort are standing near the marshy bog. “There’s a cat up in the tree,” say the little children. “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.” It turns out that the owner of this pet cat is a blonde girl, whose name, I believe, is Patricia. She is sobbing, because her cat is stuck in the tree. “Klaatu, Gort, please help!” cries the girl. “Yes, help our poor friend Patricia rescue her kitten,” chant all the little children to Klaatu and Gort. Klaatu then gives the robot Gort a command, and Gort slowly walks up to the tree, reaches into the leaves and grabs the kitty cat; then he crouches down and gives the cat to the little girl, Patricia. “Gee, thanks, Klaatu and Gort!” says Patricia, now hugging her cat. Klaatu bows to acknowledge this outpouring of gratitude, and Gort stands towering over the children expressionlessly.

Supervillain 2

The humanlike alien Klaatu and his tall robot Gort now face another crux. Someone stole the fire engine from the firefighters’ fire station. (The fire engine is big and red.) Plus, the supply shed just burst into flames. “Firemen, firemen, can you come and help us out?” yell all the little children of the earth, as they point to the burning supply shed. But the firemen answer, saying: “We cannot help you, at the moment.” So the children say: “But the fire is raging!” “We’re sorry,” say the firemen, “but we’re currently in a pickle.” “What is it,” ask the children; “did someone steal your big red fire engine?” “That is correct,” say the firemen. Then the firemen turn their heads and address Klaatu and Gort, saying: “Klaatu and Gort, please help us out today. Go and find our fire engine — it is big and red.” Klaatu leans toward Gort and whispers: “This is a very perplexing crux.” Then Klaatu and Gort leave the area: they disappear over the horizon. Soon, however, we notice the familiar low hum of Gort’s heart (which is an electromagnet) growing louder and louder, and a big red fire engine appears hastening back over the horizon: Klaatu and Gort have located the stolen vehicle and are now returning it to its proper owners, the firemen. Also, a spotted dalmatian named Sparky (the fire station’s fire-dog) is riding along and barking with glee. “Thank you, Klaatu and Gort, for finding our fire engine,” say the firemen, while using their water hoses to put out the shed fire. “Yay!” say the children. Finally, Klaatu leans toward Gort’s ear-slit and whispers: “That was a very perplexing crux.”