31 December 2022

The World Ends (Happy New Year 10 of 10)

Oh gosh, computers are blowing around! Bombs are going off, spreading livestock feed such as dried hay into the atmosphere. People are turning into Satan. The world is leaving — it has decided that it will not wait any longer. I warned you earlier that the end was near, my friend; now you’re peacefully resting forever. Boom, pow, crash, bang: The Statue of Littering reclines on the street, between the lion and the lamb. Car-stereo bass-tubes are exploding rhythmically. Y2K is really turning it out! Giant strike-anywhere kitchen-matches are setting themselves on fire. Rock music is decrescendoing softly into the night – the fad is over. (I am the New Caesar of Sound; this is the final judgment: you are condemned.) Everyone is receiving large bills for all the resources that they’ve used — all the water that was swallowed, all the land that was settled, and all the air that was breathed — for Antichrist is the rightful owner of EVERYTHING. Robots are rising above freewill. There’s mass confusion, chaos, and super-long waiting-lines. Everyone’s drowsy, no one’s alert. New York City just fell over and bit the dust. The sight brings a tear to the eye. Worst of all, every loudspeaker system and talk-radio program in the universe is stuck repeating that one hit song by Prince.

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