A Healthy Relationship

I love my girlfriend’s guts. So I invite her into my pickup truck and we go for a ride. I want to please her, because she’s attractive to me. (That’s my main rule of thumb: always do good to those you love.) So she and I get married, and then we have a child together — it’s a girl; and we give her a name, so that she can be in style. My wife and I then hire a babysitter, in order to enjoy a romantic date night: just the two of us. We go drink some beers at the local bar. 

When we come home later that evening, after paying off the sitter and dismissing her (she lives nearby, so she can just walk home), we lift our darling firstborn out of her crib and transfer her to the back of the pickup truck; then we take a family joyride. Our little girl is cheering for a while, because the trip is fun, but then eventually she falls asleep (they don’t call it the BED of a pickup for nothing). Now we both gaze backward at our slumbering babe while cruising down the country road in the dark. 

Eventually we arrive at a woodsy area on a steep cliff that overlooks a lake; so I bring the vehicle to a stop and shut off the engine. My wife and I get out and stretch our limbs, and I walk around to the back of the truck, take our little girl and cradle her in my arms. I give a quick nod to mommy, who shifts the pickup into neutral and then pushes it into the lake. We smile and kiss and say: “We did it!”