Ghetto Tank

What’s this new vehicle that has come rolling through my neighborhood? It is a giant Ghetto Tank — yes, you heard me right: a giant Ghetto Tank — and it’s up to no good. It is steel and green with metal tread and wheels, and it moves at speeds up to twenty-five miles per hour. 

At first, the Ghetto Tank was attacking my dwelling-place, but now I’m somehow inside it and controlling it:

I swivel the cannon around and load some bombs. Being the pilot of a device this powerful makes me feel like a giant ape, and all the normal-sized humans are like tiny fleas to me. Disregarding all paths and roads, I plow the Ghetto Tank straight through walls and smash into buildings and drive straight over the pedestrian crosswalk without stopping. I shoot the cannon at the grocery shop: Fruits and vegetables come exploding out everywhere to feed the starving children. I then park wherever I please.

As I sit idling in the middle of the street while blocking all the lanes, vehicles come speeding up and crash into me, but my huge green metal Ghetto Tank remains entirely undamaged. This thing is stronger than titanium and bigger than a barn.