Latin

What is the Latin tongue, exactly? It is the source of the Latin pop invasion, which is from Rome. Therefore, run for the border with chalupas in your mouth singing “Para bailar la bamba.” Everyone is at least a little bit Latin, but the only two people who God created as 100% male with 100% full Roman citizenship are Bruna Sammartina and her tag-team partner who just changed his name to Wreeko. They were the first married humans. Look it up. The Latin language explodes like a maraca. It was originally used by monks in medieval times to copy epigraphs for their essays, which all shared the exact same title: “Shaking My Bon-Bon and Doing the Cha-Cha.” This influenced every subsequent philosophy; that’s why our whole media-scape is now Latin. And our pigs have the freedom of speech. If you do a stickup at a bank and steal cash when it’s dark out, that is essentially a Latin course of action.

But what is the secret of Latin’s power? Why is it so culturally significant? Take, for example, a horse that can speak perfect English. Now let a Latin American Communist Poet persuade this beast to let him sit sidesaddle. Their portrait still comes off as partly respectable. So does their sculpture. That’s because you’ll never find a bloodthirsty cannibal among the decent Latin people. Think of a man in a large-brimmed hat vending packets of sugar. Or, better yet, a man who is guiding a mule through a river of coffee beans. Ask this latter fellow if there are Latin rapids, up ahead, just before the Latin waterfall. Let me know if he answers you.