Don’t waste your time going out to vote. You might say: “But my vote counts.” — I tell you: that’s pure baloney. Don’t you know? your vote is just tossed in the trash or canceled out by your neighbor who votes the other way. “Oh,” you reply, “I never thought of that. Thanks for taking the time to change my mind.” — You’re welcome, I say. Now listen here: Did you know that the form of government in the U.S. is officially Communist? “No it’s not,” you say; “I thought that it was Republican or Democrat.” — No, I tell you: an actual Democratic Republic would be far too messy. Didn’t you read Aristotle’s book? You’ll have to visit your local library and check it out. But now you might say: “Wait: Aristotle? Isn’t he that one guy who discovered evolution?” — No, I tell you: you’re thinking of Darwin, who wrote the Bill of Rights for the free world. Aristotle used fact-based reasoning to prove that voting is useless. “Hmm,” you say, “that’s interesting. Can you elaborate on how he accomplished that?” — Sure. First, he established three premises; then he followed these up with two syllogisms. “Good God,” you say, “that’s truly knowledgeable.” — You are correct, my friend; and this is not a joke.
The Purpose of This Lecture
My main point in talking to you today is to tell you what to do when faced with voting in this upcoming election. You might say: “I am convinced that I should stay in my section of low-income housing and wholly abstain from casting a vote, because I learned from you that voting is pure baloney.” — I say: that’s absolutely right; you’re a good listener. Now, to sum up, I will quickly run through the specific details again:
1. Votes don’t ever get counted.
2. Does voting make a difference? I’m highly skeptical.
3. There are not enough choices on the ballot.
4. Voting booths are eerily silent.
No comments:
Post a Comment