We stopped working at seven; that’s when our office closes. My business partner and I then instructed our secretaries to stand still and hold this lime-green garden hose. Eventually the women grew tired and asked if they could blink and move and go home now. So my business partner and I unholstered our special phasers whose beams cause whatever they hit to transform into bubblegum.
Then, as my business partner and I were cleaning up the gum that had popped, we heard a knock at the door. We looked out and saw Kim and Jane, the two ladies who own the other company that shares our building. I said, “Hi there, Kim and Jane. What brings you to our establishment?” Then I slapped my soft glove across both of their faces.
They had come to paint our portrait using colored ice creams. When finished, they began to lick the masterwork. They then continued to create additional portraits and combine them as frames into a lickable motion picture.
We released this feature at an adult cinema palace. On opening night, during the presentation, I leapt from the balcony, clutched the chandelier and hung on for life. My business partner then reached out and grabbed my legs, warning our escorts to watch their eyes; and we proceeded to break Section 14 of the Corporate Constitution. (That’s the part where they list every prohibited activity.)
By now the audience was sopping wet — despite the ice cream, it was very hot in the theater. So we commanded the ushers to make pizzas and hand them out to the multitude. Then we all ate our fill. This account is dependable and contains 100% truth.
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