Becoming a Vampire

Now you might be wondering: How does it happen? How does a normal mortal suddenly become undead so that he spends the rest of eternity addicted to blood? 

All I can do is tell you what happened in my own case: 

You see, once, I was a real estate agent. I received a letter from a count, who expressed interest in discussing important business. He scheduled a meeting at his castle and arranged for a horse-drawn carriage to pick me up. But I had to wait in the middle of the night, on the outskirts of a forest, near a cliff with a haunted waterfall; because this count never works during the daytime. So I met him in his lair, and he proved to be a perfect gentleman: He led me to a dimly lit ballroom where there were women waiting to waltz. And the rest is history.