This new primate is dragging women by their ponytails, grunting articulately, hunting beasts, gathering roots, and wearing a loincloth. Enjoying the fruits of prehistory. Scary. Hairy. Don’t attempt to approach it. It lives deep inside a cave, with slaves shackled to the walls. It has no superego. Hiding behind the elderberry bush; swinging a club at a reptile. Forever barefoot. Starting a bonfire in the middle of the room. Constructing a battering ram from stray branches. Begetting likenesses nonconsensually upon the unfit, near a wooly mammoth carcass. Now it’s time to go to bed.
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