My name is Bryan; I’m relaxing at the beach, looking around and admiring all the bikinis. I got some beers in my cooler, and I’m barefoot, just standing here scoping the babes and waxing my surfboard. I have a bottle of tanning lotion to rub on my skin, and my stereo boombox is playing Miami Bass Music. As the sun shines down to make me tan, I take off my shirt and reveal my well-defined chest. Your girlfriend checks me out and tells you that I’m attractive.
Suddenly, however, I get pelted in the face with a handful of sand. When I open my eyes, I cannot see anything. I panic and start to scream. My eyes are burning — now I’m totally blind forever; so, when I reach for a towel, I accidentally grab some lady’s behind. This lady is offended and cries out, accusing me of sexual harassment. And, because I’m blind, I can do nothing to extricate myself from this awkward situation. Then the cops arrive and drag me into their car. They charge me with abortion and lock me in jail. When I meet my attorney, I explain to him that I lost my eyesight. He assures me that we’ll plead insanity. I end up getting off with a fine.
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