Taco Soda

Taco Soda comes from North Dakota, but the cans are always warm because they’re made of cork from Portugal. Taco Soda has meat, rice, beans, and nachos; also floating pieces of pink. It’s spicy. The flavor is reminiscent of wet beef, and the cost averages about three dollars per cup. 

Here’s how the invention came about. I was sitting in a chair one day, thinking about how much I love tacos; then I started pondering how much I love soda. At that point, a lightbulb ignited in my mind, and I said to myself: “Why not devise a way to roll up a taco and put it into a can that is filled with soda?” So that’s what I did. And when I sipped the result, it tasted so good that I had to voice an obscenity.

Once my neighbors got wind of this new beverage that I created, they all came knocking at my door and begging to try it. So I distributed samples at three dollars apiece, and those who experienced no adverse effects were rather satisfied. That’s why the Government Agency for Passable Liquids allowed me to call the product “safe for teens.” So put on your safety goggles and search your grocer’s shelves for the brown-colored jar with lettuce and cheese floating around inside. When you unscrew the top, it makes a beefy sound.