Tapes

Do you want to earn money the fast way? Then get some audio cassette tapes: They are affordable and portable, plus recordable and immortal. Back in the day, around my way, I would proudly display the tapes that I liked to play. Nowadays, I put my tapes in storage bins and stack them in the basement. Tapes are a great way to record sonic phenomena. You can also sell tapes for cash, and use them to start wars. Compact discs and long-playing phonograph records are physically attractive, but, when you hold them in one hand while holding a cassette tape in your other hand, you’ll find that there’s no contest: tapes are prettier. Therefore, write your congressperson a letter, saying: “Fight the system.” Anyone who tries to erase my tapes, I will insult them personally. We the people of this planet must unite to bring about the salvation of audio cassette tapes.