Curtailed by unseriousness and religiosity

From the Church of Bryan
to the Church of the Gentle Reader:

I begin this entry like so, in attempted imitation of the Apostle Paul – that’s how I remember him starting out his letters . . .

However, after one instant of research, I see that my memory was wrong – now that I’ve checked his actual writings, I realize that he doesn’t say “From the Church of Paul” but rather “Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ . . . to all that be in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints . . .” – that’s how he begins his Epistle to the Romans. Or, to take another example (because I like copying this stuff), both of his letters to Thessalonica start this way: “Paul, and Silvanus, and Timotheus, unto the church of the Thessalonians . . .” – that’s probably what I was thinking of.

Whoa! right here at the beginning, I was interrupted by my phone beeping loudly . . . so I checked its screen, and it shows a warning message about bad weather concerning the place where I live: “Severe thunderstorm watch: Tennis ball-sized hail possible in the Twin Cities.” – I assume that this relates to my mentioning of Paul. Bad things always happen when I mention Paul.

Anyway, I’ll write until the brimstone flattens my house . . .

Then the LORD rained brimstone and hail out of heaven upon the Twin Cities . . . [Genesis 19:24]

(Note: Sodom and Gomorrah are the cities of the plain, NOT the “Twin Cities” – that phrase refers to Minneapolis and Saint Paul, the two largest cities in my state. I explain this in case it’s not common knowledge outside of Minnesota.)

Now, what has happened since last I wrote? Well, the usual: mostly just fear and sadness about the state of the world. A billion individual wishes that we regular people could stop the horrors of warfare, and each wish dissolves with the apprehension of our powerlessness (the 99%—the MAJORITY!—are devoid of power); then I return to whatever book I have been reading.

You mention being “not very fond of religious thinking” – I am decidedly the same way. Or rather I have a love-hate relationship with religious thinking: I love the aspect of it that is “thinking,” and I hate the aspect of it that is “religious.” But I admit that my hatred depends heavily on how that word is defined. “Religion” too often entails the enforced adherence to a particular interpretation of a work of poetry. I would subscribe to any cult that would allow me to read its poem (its “holy scripture”) as mere literature, without committing to any fixed opinion; but my experience has shown me that the INTERPRETATION of a text is always the most important element to religious groups. This is doubly sad, because I love the idea of interpreting: I think interpretation is, in fact, in and of itself, an avenue of poetry. It’s only the enforcement of, and adherence to, a particular interpretation, that ruins the fun.

The dreamers and prophets and artists who create the visions, prophecies, and poetic tales that eventually become the religions of the world are truly against (or antithetical to) the priests and theologians (or “saints” and “apostles”) who front these religions.

On this topic, I am reminded of what James the Just, brother of Jesus, writes in the letter attributed to him in the Christian Bible:

If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this: To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Those are the last lines of his letter’s first chapter. At least I can say that I like James better than Paul.

I should now cite passages from Paul which demonstrate why he is deserving of our disapproval, but that idea bores me. Instead, here is a personalized rendition of an episode from the biblical Book of Numbers (16:28-33) – I gave myself the role of Moses; I hope you don’t mind:

Big Bad Bryan said, “Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me to contradict these priests and pastors; for I have not spoken from mine own mind. If these churchmen die the common death of all men – that is, if they pass away after the same fashion as we freethinkers are accustomed to passing – then the LORD hath not sent me. But if the LORD make a new thing, and the earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all that appertain unto them, and they go down quick into the pit; then ye shall understand that these men have provoked the LORD.”

And it came to pass, when Big Bad Bryan had finished speaking, that the ground clave asunder that was underneath the clerics: And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto the Church, and all their goods. They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation.