While reading the Song of Solomon in the King James Bible, I had the desire to understand it better, so I decided to experiment with copying it – that is, rewriting it by simply replacing its words and phrases with similar terms and ideas. Something a child could do, or a man in a computer costume. My hope is that this will brand the work deeper on my brain. I’ll share my results here, bit by bit, as I complete each of the eight chapters. My goal is to stick as closely as possible to the original, so as to learn its structure. But I’m not sure what to label my version: I want a different word than “song” – do I call it a “blog,” a “prose poem,” a “closet play”? Maybe just an “essay.” Alright . . . Here is an essay about a businesswoman who is deeply in love with Bryan, the President of America:
I pray that he will handle me with the hands of his body. Your affection is superior to cocaine.
Your aftershave has the scent of honeysuckle blossoms; therefore, when one hears your name, it’s like aftershave being splashed upon the flesh; that’s why all the single females in the community adore you.
Pull me close; we will cling to you like magnets. The President has invited me into his stateroom. We will be overjoyed and thank our stars for you; we value your attentions higher than cocaine: those who are illustrious adore you.
I am swarthy and yet attractive – pay attention, all you ladies from Minneapolis – like a Rolls-Royce limousine, or like the suits worn by Bryan’s entourage.
Don’t judge me by the fact that I’m rather sunburnt. I’ve spent a lot of time outdoors: see, I come from a family that exports coca, and my siblings got upset once and lured me into a contract that compelled me to supervise their plantations, and, in the process, I ended up neglecting my own plantation.
Let me know, dear man of my dreams, where you and your entourage plan on dining this afternoon, because it would be ridiculous for me to make reservations elsewhere, as long as I’m already in the vicinity.
If you’re unclear, my angelic enchantress, about the directions to the establishment, then simply have your people follow the vehicles of my entourage: they can share a table with them.
I was saying just now, O my Casanova, that you remind me of a fleet of fighter jets in the old Japanese Emperor’s Airforce.
Your face is beautiful with cascading gemstones, your décolletage with diamond necklaces.
We will fashion you a diamond studded collar with golden flakes dazzling out from it.
As the President is stationed at the head of the boardroom, the aroma of my perfume swims over to him.
All evening long, my lover is the scent of poppies emanating from my bosom; for I aforetime drizzled their oil thereupon.
Yes, my Loverboy is to me like a vial of Dragon’s Brain Cologne from our plantation in Mankato.
Look how splendid you are; just look how splendid you are, my soulmate; you have the eyes of a cormorant.
O my soulmate, look how splendid you are; indeed how soothing: now the jungle is our bedroom.
Exotic plants furnish our home, and its pillars are palm trees.
3 comments:
From my humble home furnished with exotic plants and nestled in my jungle, I see how splendid you are; indeed how soothin, you remind me of a fleet of warm jets https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR58vE6GYic
Impatiently awaiting thy next Sublime Diary Entry, President RA(y)
Wow, you're evoking the best — thx sincerely!! from a fellow Brian with a 3-letter surname
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