(Cont.)
Now Bryan and Moses attended their appointment with the King of the Empire. They stood in the throne room and explained that they had recently encountered an hypostasis from the wilds who is, as yet, unknown to the Empire, and who claims to be the minder of the class of people that the King has oppressed. “Here is the message that we were charged to deliver from this Radical New Champion of the Labor Force: ‘Allow my people to have some time off, some paid leave, so that they may go on a vacation outside of the Empire and join me where I live, in the back country, for a feast.’ In other words, declare a holiday, and allow all the workers to observe it.”
And the King of the Empire answered them, saying: “Let me get this straight. You want me to let my whole working population abandon their labors, thus bringing the entire economy to a halt, just to honor the whim of some nameless Wildman whom you met last weekend in the hinterlands?”
“He’s not nameless,” Moses replied. Whereupon Bryan shot an inquisitive look at his companion and mouthed: “He’s not?” And, while motioning for Bryan to hush, Moses addressed the King himself, saying: “My spokesman here only meant that he is unknown to us civilized Egyptians. The Midianites are familiar with him. His name is Yahweh.” At this, Bryan’s countenance became even more questioning; but Moses motioned for his partner to keep calm.
The King of the Empire laughed: “Now I’m intrigued! You expect me to placate the hicks’ volcano god? That’s what this appointment was about? Alright, Moses, I can only assume that you boys in the brainwashing sector, on the rebellious fringe of the intelligentsia, are up to more of your psychological trickery: dabbling in the fabrication of religions with the mad aim of regime change. Am I warm? This is certainly some rogue operation that you’ve concocted because you’ve all finally gone and lost your heads. You guys will strategize yourselves inside-out, won’t you; until up is down and bad is good: anything to avoid admitting defeat. I bet you could take a common crucified criminal and spin his death as a catholic victory, with your zany propaganda. All your convoluted theologies and topsy-turvy talk. But I’ll humor you, this time, since you’re managing to amuse me – I’ll give you an answer, because I like to playact. Give ear now, listen: So your idol Yahweh requests that I release his people? Well I say: Who is this Yahweh, that I should grant his supplications? I know no Yahweh, neither will I declare your harebrained holiday.”
And they answered the King: “But this deity really did meet with us. Let the workers go, please, we beg you! Just one extended weekend that they can spend in the desert – no more than three days: Friday thru Sunday. Or Saturday thru Monday, if you prefer. They truly need to hold a feast with their divine keeper: otherwise, he might plague us all with sickness and warfare – for those are the punishments that gods can inflict.”
And the King of the Empire said: “Why do you two care what happens to my labor force? Get out of my sight – go back to work, yourselves!” And he slammed down his scepter, causing the royal guards to drive Moses and Bryan out of the throne room.
Then the King of the Empire turned to his inner council of advisors and said, “Behold, the working peoples of the land are abundant now; and they all share the same language and purpose. And they’re all connected by way of the Internet. We can see where this is heading, can we not? If we superiors do not ramp up their oppression, they are liable to resurrect democracy and become like us, enjoying fraternity, equality, and liberty. Send, therefore, a memo out to all taskmasters and overseers: tell them to increase the burden of labor upon the populace, so that everyone must work longer hours for less pay. Slash their benefits; loot their pension accounts. Ruin their healthcare system. And if they dare to complain, or request again to meet with their commie Wildman in the backwoods, then crank the heat up even more – make it unbearable. I’m determined to break these peoples’ will. For I refuse to watch my dystopia become emparadised by a workers’ revolution.”
So the taskmasters and overseers went into the Empire and squeezed the working class like a vice clamp. The people cried, and their torments redoubled.
The leaders and representatives of the unions of the oppressed peoples of the Empire then made an appointment with the King. “O King,” they cried, “what is the reason for this crackdown? The labor conditions have become so harsh that it is literally, physically impossible for us to survive out there, let alone to get any work done. Please be reasonable and lighten our burdens; stop the abuse: show some mercy.”
But the King said: “You are all idle and lazy. You have been spoiled, and now you act entitled. Instead of laboring, you lean and loafe at your ease, thinking that I will grant you an extra-long weekend to meet in the woods with your socialist savior. Isn’t that what you’re thinking? Well, then think again. I will make this earth a living hell for you people.”
After hearing this answer and having experienced the wretched new state of affairs, all the labor leaders and representatives of the unions then called Moses and Bryan and said: “We need to talk. Now. Whatever you said to the King during your last appointment made matters much worse in the working world: our plight is unconscionable. This is your fault.”
And Bryan said, “Alright, we’ll all sit down together and have a conference – how about brunch: the usual place, eleven o’clockish.”
So the labor leaders and union reps met with Moses and Bryan at a restaurant on the outskirts, and they said to them: “Look, they’re seriously trying to murder us! What on earth have you two done!?”
Then Moses went back to the vortex on the hill and addressed the wild man with the goat eyes: “Why have you treated this people so evilly!? What is the real reason you sent me? For, ever since I met with the King and told him all that you told me to tell him, in your name, he has increased his cruelty tenfold upon the workers. Neither have you delivered your people at all!”
And the wild man with the rust-hued body said to Moses: “Ah, now you shall see what I will do to the King of the Empire. For, because of my greater might, he will release the people; and, because of my greater might, he will let them leave the land.”
Then the wild man growled and said: “I am the volcano of potential. I dwell in possibility. And I had dealings with your precursors – Abram, Israel, Joseph: they knew me as one of the heroes of heaven, and, as you have written, they called me by the name of Yahweh, which you yourself also deemed fit to do; that is neither here nor there; but, not until now have I appeared to anyone in this livery of the Volcano. I made a deal with your precursors, those patriarchs whom I just named, and we signed a contract. I have also been well aware of their descendants’ maltreatment at the hands of the Empire’s King, who sides with the rentier class. And I remember the terms of our contract; therefore, go back and say to the workers of the land: ‘I, the Volcano, will rescue you from your harsh conditions, and I will rid you of your creditors and set you free from your debt-servitude, so that you will no longer need to slave and grind all day. I will do this by displaying awful marvels and miraculous judgments. You and I will then meet in person and embrace as friends. I will take you to me for a people, and I will be to you as a god. And I will advocate for you, and save you from hardship, and help you meet all your necessities, and you will then know that I am the volcano of potential.”
So Moses returned to the Empire and met with the overtaxed workers. But they would not listen to Moses, because they were in agony after being compelled to labor under such inhuman conditions.
Moses therefore returned and spoke to the wild man in the vortex yet again. And the man replied: “Go and set up another appointment with the King of the Empire, and demand that he permit the workers to take an extended vacation outside of the country.”
And Moses stood before the wild man and said: “See here – take a moment to think about this predicament that I’m in. For the workers of the land refused to heed my message; so why in the world would the King of the Empire listen to what I say – especially since I speak with uncircumcised lips!”
The wild man stood in the vortex and blinked his goat eyes. “Uncircumcised lips? Do you mean your speech impediment? I thought that we solved this problem already. Was it not established that your comrade Bryan would do the talking? Did we not appoint him to handle all public relations? Why are you going off on your own and presiding over crucial meetings without your charismatic prophet? Call Bryan over here, now. I want to address the both of you at once.”
Moses therefore journeyed to a nearby tavern and stepped into the phone booth.
And when Moses returned to the hillside, lo, Bryan was already there at the fiery entrance of the vortex, talking and laughing with the wild man.
Now that the three were reunited, the long-haired wild man gave instructions to Moses and Bryan: he told them to charge both the workers and the King to set loose the labor force from the Empire. “Take the workers out of the country, troop by troop,” he said, “according to their armies. For I plan to gather them here, on this hillside. Now, as to your concerns about delivering my message, Moses, I already explained: You shall pass on to Bryan, your shadow, whatever I command, and Bryan shall voice the speech to the King.”
Hearing this, Moses stood breathing silently with his mouth agape. So the wild man continued, saying:
“Then, I will harden the King’s heart, and greatly increase the amount of scandals and miraculous wiles that I perform within his country. Yes, the King shall not listen to you. But his unwillingness to cooperate will have nothing to do with the effectiveness of your rhetoric – no, it is simply a given that the King will react obstinately; and this will be so that I can bring forth my armies, my troops, my trial-hardened workers, from out of the land with spectacular judgments. And the ruling class of that land shall finally know that I AM THE VOLCANO OF POTENTIAL, when I unleash my powers of possibility upon the country, and free all the workers.”
So Moses and Bryan followed the wild man’s instructions to a T.
And Moses was 80 years of age, and Bryan was 83, when they addressed the Empire’s King.
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