(Cont.)
Then Moses ordered a troop of ambassadors to be sent to the Celestial City, on the border of Munchkin Country, to Vice Chancellor Bunyan, with the following message:
“You know that your fellow tinkers in the workforce, after escaping from the Empire, have been traveling around in the wild lands for several years now. We were working at various chores, doing hard labor in the Empire, for a long time, and the economic system there was extremely unfair to us and our ancestors; so we cried out to the volcano of potential, and he heard our voice, and sent to us an angel who had the face of an eagle, and she has now carried us outside of the Empire and set us down in Munchkin Country, a domain near the extremities of your border, by the Enchanted Ground. Here is our prayer to you, O Dearest Vice Chancellor: Please let us pass through your domain. For we are near to the River of Death, which we believe we can cross, and then we would like to ascend Mount Zion; however, instead of heading directly into the Celestial City, and settling there, we aim to go straight through and into the adjacent realm of Emerald City. We have faith that your yellow brick roads connect to that place. We promise not to cause any trouble: we will not drink from your living waters nor eat any of your forbidden fruits. We will stay strictly on the high way that bears your name, turning neither to the right nor to the left, until we have traversed your rear border into the draught.”
But Vice Chancellor Bunyan berated the ambassadors that Moses had sent, and he sprinkled pink paint upon them, to humiliate them, and sent them back with this reply:
“You shall not use Celestial City as a shortcut to any other place in the world. This is man’s final home: Not a means to an end, but THE END ITSELF. There is no free lunch, no fast and easy route to bliss. Nothing shall be got for nothing. To obtain entry into the Celestial City, you must follow the straight and narrow way, like every other soul, out through the City of Destruction, and endure all its pitfalls; either that or suffer martyrdom. I repeat, I will in no wise honor your request. And I warn you: Do not try to sneak in without my knowledge, for I have placed cherubims and a flaming sword at every gate, to prevent all subterfuges.”
So Moses washed off his troop of ambassadors, and sent them back with the following plea:
“A message from Moses in the wilderness to Vice Chancellor Bunyan of the Celestial City: please consider that we of the escaped workforce of the Empire will adhere devoutly to the high way: and if I and my cattle drink of your living waters, then we will pay for it. All we are asking is for permission to tiptoe through on our bare feet: out to the neighboring dimension. We will not make much noise.”
But Vice Chancellor Bunyan drizzled more pink paint upon the ambassadors of Moses; and he smeared it around with his hands, to increase the insult; and he said: “You shall not go through.” And all of his armed forces came out against them; and there were millions of Christian soldiers, all holding bayonets.
Thus the Celestial City refused to allow the people of the working class to use it as a shortcut to the Promised Land.
§
So all the laborers of the workforce, even every soul from those multitudes that evacuated the Empire, turned and journeyed away from Mount Zion, until they arrived at its shadow-double: Shelley’s Mont Blanc. There the caravansary stopped and set up an encampment in the Vale of Chamouni.
And the volcano of potential met with Moses and Bryan, off the coast of the Celestial City, and said: “I must have missed something while I was resting – why is everyone here? I thought that we were all in agreement, and that the next step the people would take is to head into Emerald City, to mix and mingle with its citizens; and from there we would proceed to the other suburbs of India and into the rest of Eldorado. What happened that we find ourselves near Zion, and so close to the River of Death?”
So Moses answered, saying: “This move was my idea. Seeing that you and Bryan had both retired for the weekend and were yet again asleep, I thought I might make some progress; I hoped to surprise you pleasantly, but alas it turned out the opposite. My thought was that we might use the Celestial City as a shortcut into the better parts of Oz. I did not count on its Vice Chancellor being so unmerciful.”
The wild man blinked his goat eyes and said: “Yes, you have already witnessed me dealing with the people from the Church; this is nothing new. But what’s done is done. — Why, however, are you looking for a shortcut? We had already gained admittance to Emerald City easily with our espionage squads, by using the front main entrance: Why come all the way round like this, and risk the River of Death and Zion?”
Moses answered: “I was attempting to sidestep the ivy leaguers. To take this route, we circumvent all the zones that they are known to haunt. Plus I thought that our wand would work to lift the River of Death overhead, like we accomplished with the Red Ocean. I’m sorry – I realize how simpleminded my plan was, now that I look back.”
The wild man touched the shoulder of Moses and replied: “That’s OK, don’t worry about it; I forgive you. We’ll get out of this mess, it’s no problem. But I have some news for you. Bryan has informed me, by way of a dream, that he is ready to depart; he desires to return to Jupiter with Myala. So I have ordered a chariot for him. This actually works out well, that we’re here at Mont Blanc, which is the perfect place for his plaque. So here’s what we’ll do. Everyone will accompany Bryan up to the mountaintop; and we’ll have a ceremonial stripping: the royal robes shall be removed from Bryan and transferred to his robotic son Satyajit. (The kingship in essence will remain the personal property of Bryan, but we who abide here on Earth will keep the pomp and the costume.) Then a fiery chariot shall land on the peak of Mont Blanc, and Bryan shall be launched into the outer spaces to spend the next epoch or more with his beloved.”
So they did as the Volcano instructed: the armies of the workforce ascended far above, to the place where Mont Blanc pierces the infinite sky, and a jovial chariot appeared and used its hydraulic grabber-arm to scoop up Bryan, the Eternal King of America. Then it sped away, through Chaos, in the direction of Jove, on the path of a frozen rainbow, and disappeared into the blackness.
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