(Cont.)
Then the wild man with the goat eyes said to Moses: “Go make an appointment with the King, and tell him, ‘The Volcano requests that you allow all the workers in your land to leave the country so that they may sojourn with me, their advocate, here in the outlands. Because, if you refuse to release them again, then listen to what I will do: I will kill all your livestock. Cattle, horses, asses, camels, oxen, and sheep – all dead. A disease will come and destroy them, and I will have caused this. And you will know that it is my doing because all the livestock of my working class shall be just fine: none of the workers’ animals will die. And I will even tell you exactly when this disaster will happen: it will happen on the morrow. That’s when the volcano of potential shall strike.’”
And the wild man performed that disaster on the morrow. All the livestock in the country fell sick and died, except whatever belonged to the working class: all the laborers’ livestock remained healthy.
And the King sent out some teams of researchers from his intelligentsia to gather information about what had happened, and they returned bearing the news that not a single beast among the livestock of the labor force had even fallen ill, but all the rest of the country’s livestock had not only sickened but expired in agony. Howbeit, the heart of the King remained hardened, and he did not release the workers for their vacation.
And the wild man with the long hair that hung over his face and past his feet met with Moses and Bryan again, and he said: “I have another idea: Ashes. Go and scoop up handfuls of ashes from the furnace, and let Moses sprinkle them toward heaven in the sight of the King. What will happen is that the ashes will fly as tiny bits of dust all over the country. Do you know what “Brownian motion” is? The erratic movement of particles suspended in a medium. Dust swirling in the blackness of the air: that’s what it shall be like, when you toss the ashes into heaven: zillions of tiny airborne specks. The bits shall float around in the atmosphere and land upon humans and animals throughout the country; and, wherever these tiny flakes of ash touch down, there shall break forth blains, boils, and pimples: inflamed swellings on the skin. That’s my idea. How do you like it?”
So they all went and scooped ashes out of the wild man’s furnace. And then Moses went and stood before the King and sprinkled the ashes up toward heaven. And each particle of ash became a boil breaking forth with blains and nasty zits on all humans and animals.
Now the various factions of the King’s intelligentsia could not appear before Moses on that occasion, because they all had painful pimples. For this skin condition had struck that group especially hard; and all the ruling class had bad acne.
Yet the wild man caused the heart of the King to harden, so that he would not listen to them or negotiate. It was just as the wild man predicted.
So the wild man from the vortex said to Moses: “Get up early in the morning, and go stand before the King, and say to him: ‘These are the words of the Volcano: Release my workers so that they may come outside the border and celebrate with me. Consider this fact: With one wave of my wand, I could cause you and all your class to be struck with a fatal epidemic of horrible sickness, and you would be wiped off the face of the earth – just like that, in an instant! I could even cast all my spells at once, so that their terrors land right on your person, and on your administrative staff, and on all your people; then you would learn that there is nothing else like me upon the planet. But note that I have refrained from completely destroying you, and instead I have allowed you to become extremely successful, and to obtain this high position as the ruler of your country: my reason for thus allowing you to flourish is that I can thereby demonstrate with far greater contrast how powerful I am by humiliating you – the more illustrious you become, the more impressive your fall will be – and then the news of me will spread everywhere: The whole world will know, once you are toppled, that the Volcano stands with the working class. Now, as yet, you magnify yourself at the expense of my labor force, and you will not let them leave. Therefore, look: by this time tomorrow, I will shower your country with a hailstorm: it will be more disastrous than anything your land has seen since the day it was founded. So you would be best to go and give this message to everyone you care about: tell them to take shelter, and to gather all their livestock in from the fields; because every living creature that is caught outside shall be pelted to death by hail.”
Upon hearing this, everyone on the King’s administrative staff who harbored even the slightest doubt about the efficacy of this so-called volcano of potential made sure that all his underlings and animals were securely withindoors. But anyone who presumed that the Volcano was bluffing left his family and pets outside.
And the wild man said to Moses: “Reach up to the sky and wave your wand, so that hailstones come down and pulverize this stubborn country. You will see that it will happen immediately, and the hail will be enormous: it will smash flat any humans and animals that stand under it, as well as all the crops and vegetation, throughout the whole land.”
So Moses reached up to heaven and waved his wand, and the Volcano sent thunder and hail, and flames dashed all over the ground. And the Volcano rained hail on the country. So there was hail. And fire was intermixed with the hail. It proved more disastrous than anything the land had seen since the day it was founded. And the hail struck throughout the entire country: it struck everything that was out of doors, both humans and animals – it struck every living creature – and it also ravaged and ruined every plant, shrub, or crop: all the vegetation got pelted; and it broke every single tree of the field.
Only in the southern metropolitan areas of Eagan, Burnsville, Rosemount, and Apple Valley, where the workers all live – in those places, there was no hail.
Then the King charged his staff to set up an urgent meeting with Moses and Bryan. When they arrived in the throne room, the sound of hail and fire could be heard pelting and sizzling throughout his speech, as the King addressed them, saying: “I have acted unethically. Your Volcano was right. Because of our addiction to wealth, my people and I became total psychopaths; and, in our hubris, we mistreated your workers. Now, please, ask the Volcano to stop this terror attack – all the mighty thunderings and hail. I’m sure that he’ll calm down if you give him this message: tell him that the King will release his workers from the country. You all can go and have your extended weekend.”
Moses answered the King and said: “As soon as I am outside the border of the city, I will stretch out my arms to the Volcano; and all the thundering shall quit, and the sky shall be silent, and there will be no more hail plonking the earth or any fire blazing about. And this will prove that the whole planet is the property of our Volcano, who favors the workers over you rulers. But as for you and your administrative staff, and the rest of your intelligentsia, I am sure that none of you will truly respect our Volcano – you’ll go right back to being callous and hard-hearted.”
And the crops that had been ready to harvest, such as the flax and the barley, were devastated by this unnatural disaster; they were utterly ruined. But other crops, such as wheat and rye, remained unspoiled, since they had not yet grown up.
And as soon as Moses stepped one foot outside the city, he raised his arms, as a signal to the wild man, and the awful weather abated. And the outside world became instantly calm. The effect was eerie.
Then, when the King saw that the storm was over, he went right back to his accustomed attitude of arrogance. And he hardened his heart. And his whole staff did likewise. So they would not release the workers, after all. It was just as the wild man predicted.
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