(Cont.)
Now during this time when the multitudes were with him on the hilltop, the wild man and all the workers barbecued meats: young bullocks and rams. And they also ate bread and cakes and wafers of wheaten flour. It was a feast.
And while they ate, the wild man spoke to the workers of the world, concerning the ark or portable museum that he desired to be built, to hold mementos and remembrancers, as a place of safekeeping. Canonical texts should also be stored there, he explained. For the time capsule that Moses had made to hold the gallon of ish during the workers’ wilderness wanderings did not meet the Volcano’s high standards.
“Dear workers of the world,” said the wild man with the goat eyes, “I ask you to bring me some of the spoils that you took from the Empire – every man should offer only what his heart is willing to give. Here is what I need: gold, silver, and brass. Also, to line the interior of the museum, from the fabrics among the finery, any ornamental damask of blue, purple, scarlet, and goats’ hair. And you laborers who are skilled craftsmen shall make an ark according to the dimensions on these blueprints: Look, I am handing them to you now. Make the ark of shittim wood; then overlay it with pure gold, on the inside and the outside; and fashion upon it a crown of gold round about. Make staves as well, the same way, and fit them through rings at either side of the ark, so that you can carry it. Also make a lid of pure gold, with two cherubims of gold, of beaten work, in the two ends of the lid. And the cherubims shall stretch forth their wings on high, and their faces shall look one to another. And there I will meet with you, and I will both listen and lecture from above the lid of the ark, between the cherubims.”
Thus did the wild man instruct them. And no one has ever known what cherubims are.
“Moreover,” continued the wild man with the copious hair, “I ask that you also fashion me a tabernacle, like the ones that you workers live in, so that I can live alongside you. Let it have ten curtains of fine twined linen, and blue, and purple, and scarlet: with cherubims of cunning work throughout, in a repeating pattern. Make curtains of goats’ hair, as well, to be a covering: eleven curtains of this type. Then use gemstones to decorate my tabernacle and the ark of our museum. For I come from a place whose depths are spangled with gems, so this will make me feel more at home.”
Then the Volcano requested that the workers fetch the garments that had been spoiled from the Empire’s King; for, on the night when the volcano of potential slew the King’s firstborn, he also borrowed the royal attire from the palace. “Put the flame-hued greatcoat upon my friend Bryan,” the Volcano instructed, “and the robe, and the breastplate; and gird him with the curious girdle of the ephod. And set the mitre upon his head, and put the crown upon the mitre. Now take the anointing oil, and pour it upon his head, and anoint him: for Bryan Ray is mine anointed [Hebrew: messiah].” Thus did the Volcano consecrate Bryan the King. And he was called “King of Kings,” and even “King of America.”
Then, when he had made an end of communing with the multitudes on the hill, the wild man saw Moses looking expectant, so he offered him two tables of testimony, made of stone, and written with the finger of God. These tables contained all the accounting from their adventures, the record of contracts, the ordinances and statutes of law, including copies of several variations and revisions of the Ten Commandments, as well as the ancestry of Abram, followed by the beginning of a line of royalty; which coincided with the lineage of prophets, because originally there were not two separate offices but the Volcano’s King and Prophet were a single charlatan.
So Moses took his stone tables under his arms, and he walked a parasang away from the multitude. There he sat down in a bush.
And the workers continued their celebration. They grilled meats and socialized with the Volcano.
And when the Volcano had retired to his vortex to enjoy the day of rest, the multitudes gathered themselves before Bryan, and said: “Let us make us an image in the likeness of the Volcano, to embody our protector’s glorious potential, and to stand as an icon in his honor for ever: it shall, moreover, serve as a reminder of how his mighty power rescued us from the Empire.”
And Bryan answered the masses, saying: “Break off the golden earrings, which are in your ears; for they are a sign of our former enslavement: Let us melt them down, and refashion these evils into something good.”
So all the people broke off their golden earrings, and brought them to Bryan. And he received them and cast them into the melting pot. Then he employed sculpting tools to form a molten representation, the appearance of which was like an ideal human, whose hair hung down past his hooves; yet the hair was parted to reveal his face, which was the face of Michaelangelo’s David; and he had the horns of Michaelangelo’s Moses; and his eyes were as goat’s eyes, and his flesh was pure gold.
And they all said: “This is our redeemer, our savior, who freed us from the Empire.”
Then Bryan took the icon and installed it atop the lid of the ark of remembrance, between the cherubims; for it was life-sized, and it fit there perfectly.
Then Bryan made a proclamation, and said: “Today, we rest; but, tomorrow, the festivities recommence. For our bond with the Volcano is an everlasting friendship.”
Then they rose up early on the morrow, and sang songs, and continued the cookout; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.
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