[Detail from a junk ad: original composition, not manipulated.]
(Cont.)
And the agents of espionage addressed the volcano of potential, saying:
“We traveled into the land where you sent us, and we found that it is indeed flowing with milk and honey: there are cows and bees everywhere. And look here, we brought back a sampling of the place’s natural resources. However, we must add one word of caution: there are daunting folks residing in Harvard. The walls are very high there, so it is hard to sneak over them. Plus the administration seems to be wise – indeed, this establishment is different from its earthly counterpart. Its alumni can be found in the southern part of the city. Then the other areas are equally intimidating: The Columbians and Cornell staffers occupy the mountains, with those from Brown University; then the Yale faculty dwells by the sea, and on the coast of Coromandel. Moreover, all these places are Platonic; for this is the Technicolor Emerald City.”
Then Kelly comforted the fretting armies and said: “Let us go back there immediately, and mix and mingle. I am sure that they will welcome us with kindness.”
But some of the other agents who had accompanied Kelly on the reconnaissance mission argued against her: “No,” they said; “for the inhabitants of those places are more self-confident than us: They are well-dressed, well-connected, and well-to-do; while we are none of these things. By no means should we expect to be treated hospitably. They will most likely try to trick us and scam us; they will treat us like yokels, and take advantage of our credulity. Lo, they are all well-mannered; and they enjoy a proximity to power that renders them indomitable in the realm of geopolitics. They’re like giants, and we’re like grasshoppers. There is no way that we will fit in with their group.”
Hearing this counterargument from the naysayers made the entire workforce weep. The multitudes lost all their presence of mind, and they mourned and groaned; and everyone had a hard time falling asleep that night.
On the morrow, when the masses gathered in the Volcano’s tabernacle, they had a blowout discussion. The people approached the goat-eyed wild man and said: “We are too nervous to continue. It would have been better if we had been squashed by the limousine battle-tank, or died from eating spoiled sky-bread here in your wild lands. Why are you trying to bring us to Emerald City? Was your idea that it would be fun to watch a bunch of rustic laborers get exploited by the executives haunting that domain? But if we must suffer under shifty businesspeople, then would it not be better for us to turn around and head back into the Empire, and see if we can get our old jobs back?”
Then, before the wild man could even answer, the mobs of laborers cheered and remarked to each another: “Yes, let us appoint ourselves a new captain, to lead us back into the Empire. We can take the same route, only in reverse, right through the Red Ocean.” And someone in the crowd recalled a quote from Freud, which went as follows: “Primitive peoples used to depose or even punish their gods if they did not fulfil their duty of granting them victory, fortune and comfort.”
Then Moses and Bryan came up onstage and stood between the Volcano and the rest of the populace. And they fell on their faces before all the assembly of the congregation of the workers of the world. And when the commotion had dissipated, they spoke these words unto the people:
“The districts that our scouting party examined in Emerald City are very good places. The whole land of Eldorado is an excellent region, otherwise the volcano of potential would not have promised it to us. The Volcano truly cares about us; he’s concerned with our welfare: he delights in us! And he will help us, and cause us to be favored when we enter each new place. Did you not hear what Kelly and the other searchers reported, in their initial findings? They said that the whole zone is flowing with milk and honey, and the hills are alive with the sound of music. So, we beg you, do not get rid of your new god yet. And have no fear of these ivy leaguers whom our team espied in the city: They have their fine traits, but we also have ours. Recall what Emerson says: ‘Never numbers, but the simple and wise shall judge. Not the Wartons and Drakes, but some divine savage . . . whom neither the town or the college ever made, shall say that we shall all believe. How we thirst for a natural thinker!’ Also, elsewhere he writes these words: ‘Yet is the discontent of the multitude more formidable than that of the senate and the college. It is easy enough for a firm man who knows the world to brook the rage of the cultured classes. Their rage is decorous and prudent, for they are timid as being very vulnerable themselves. But when to their feminine rage the indignation of the people is added . . . and the brute force that lies at the bottom of society is made to growl and mow, it needs the habit of magnanimity and religion to treat it godlike as a trifle of no concernment.’ In short, these city dwellers have more reason to befriend us than to affront us; but, even if they attempt the latter, their defense has departed from them, for the Volcano is with us: fear them not.”
But the mobs of workmen threatened both Bryan and Moses with a bombardment of stones if they continued to act as shields for the Volcano. So they stepped aside, and the goat-eyed wild man with the abundant hair was left to face the upset multitudes alone.
And the people addressed the Volcano, saying: “Any final words before we depose thee?”
And the wild man said: “Look, I chose you; you did not choose me – that’s true. But didn’t any of the signs that I displayed, when you were escaping from the Empire, convince you to trust me? Remember the pestilences that I inflicted upon the ruling class, and upon their livestock, while I spared your own people and beasts? I even made it totally dark for them, while keeping it light inside your abodes: Do these things mean nothing to you? These powers that you saw me wield – why have they not persuaded you of my fitness to be your leader? What must I do to win your trust? And, on the other hand: Aren’t you even the slightest bit concerned that, if you threaten me, I might turn my curses around and aim them at you? It’s almost as if none of the wonders in our epic exodus actually even occurred; it’s as if you witnessed nothing of my supernatural might: Was it all just a dream? Did Moses and Bryan merely fabricate all those legends that they wrote down? Did they make them up from whole cloth, and are they using these narratives currently to beguile you and control you? No, that cannot be: my own experience tells me that you were all first-hand eyewitnesses! Maybe some future generation will be justified in doubting everything we pass on to them in writing, via our ark of remembrance, because it’s traditional for scribes to lie. Especially if the ark ever goes missing, and its physical contents are lost – then I myself would even give up and abandon our quest. But here we are, in ancient history together, possessing shared memories of the grand escape that we accomplished just last year. (Was it really a year ago already?) We feasted and danced together, and I bore my soul to you. Now I just can’t understand why our bond is so flimsy: Did I misjudge your worthiness; are you that fickle? Why not at least let me coach you through Emerald City – if that works out, as I am assuring you that it will, then you can invest your full confidence in my leadership, and we’ll continue our tour through the rest of Eldorado. If not, then: off with my head – I’ll even let you use my own sword.” And he drew out his glittering sword when he spoke this last line, and the multitudes gasped.
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