Last acts & grand finale of Samson’s existence

(Cont.)

Then one day, Samson went to Pandemonium (although Pandemonium is the name of Hell’s capital city in John Milton’s devil book, in reality it’s a friendly suburb outside Eldorado), and there he met a whore and went in unto her.

And when the ladies of Pandemonium heard that Samson had come to their town, they sought out the place where he was staying, which was near the giant golden gates of the city. And they rigged a trap of netting between the gate’s doors, so that Samson would be caught within it, if he tried to leave. Then these ladies compassed him in, and waited outside his building all night long, saying: “In the morning, when he steps forth into the light, we shall greet him warmly.”

But Samson lay till midnight; and, when his admirers were asleep, he arose and stepped forth into the dark. And he took the vast doors of the golden gate of the city, and the two posts, and went away with them, bar and all, upon his shoulders, and carried them up to the top of Mount Purgatory, which is before the Happy Isles.

§

Then, after that, Samson fell in love again: this time, with a woman from the Happy Isles, whose name was Delilah.

(Delilah had been sent, by the ladies of Pandemonium, to lure Samson back to their city. The ladies of Pandemonium came up to Delilah, and said: “See if you can entice Samson, and discover the source of his great strength. For we desire to know how we might prevail upon him, to win his affection. If possible, we would like to bind him down, and bed him. Should it be necessary to offer gifts of money, we each have hundreds of caesar coins in our purse.”)

So Delilah said to Samson: “I pray that you reveal to me the source of your great strength, so that I might be able to prevail upon you, in case, say, I were to wish to bind you down to this bed.”

And Samson answered: “Have you ever seen an angel playing a harp? If you take the instrument away, and remove all its strings, and use the strings to tie my hands together, then I shall be as weak as a regular man.”

So the ladies of Pandemonium brought up to Delilah’s penthouse an angel harping. And Delilah therewith bound Samson.

Now the most eager women from the city were lying in wait, in large coffers and chests in the room: and they were ready to come springing out, if ever the trick worked. And Delilah approached Samson on the bed, for she had tied his hands while he was asleep; then, as a test, she cried loudly to awake him, saying: “The Creatrix from the Lagoon hath thee in thrall, Samson!” And the strings that bound him broke, the moment he moved, and they fell apart like yarn that has been touched by fire. Thus his strength remained a mystery.

And Delilah said unto Samson: “Look, you have mocked me, and told me lies. Now I pray that you disclose how one might bind you down securely to this bed.”

Then he answered: “Have you ever seen an angel clothed in a bright white garment, sitting by an empty tomb? Well, if you strip away the garment, and close the tomb; then tear the garment into ribbons, wherewith you bind my hands and feet, then I shall be as weak as a normal man.”

Delilah therefore instructed her lady-friends from the city, and they returned with the bright white garment, which Delilah then tore into ribbons, and bound Samson therewith. Again, he was asleep, so she cried out to wake him, saying: “Beware! The Lagoon Creatrix hath thee in thrall!” And there were liers in wait abiding in the chamber, just like last time; and they were very excited. But Samson snapped the new bonds like a thread.

And Delilah said unto Samson: “Twice now, you have mocked me, and lied to my face. Now I demand that you reveal how a gal might bind you.”

Then Samson said: “I will level with you, dearest. All you need to do is purchase seven electric irons for crimp-and-curl hairstyling. Weld them to the headboard of this bed. Plug them in, and set them on their highest setting (for, due to my hair’s natural density, coarseness, and thickness, it is difficult to control). Lastly, clamp my abundant locks in the seven irons. And that is all. If you follow these directions, just like I told you, then, voilà: I shall be bound.”

So Delilah fastened his hair in the irons, and did everything perfectly. Then she cried aloud: “Ay me, that Creatrix from the Lagoon, whom the Sea People worship, hath thee in thrall, this time for good, O Samson Elohim!” And he bolted from his sleep, and dashed straight out of the room, dragging the whole bed after him.

Then she said to him: “How can you claim that you love me, when you keep your heart closed? Lo, you have mocked me now three times, and have refused to unveil to me the source of your strength.”

And over the following days, she whined and urged and hounded Samson so much about this, that his heart was exhausted: he thought he might die from sheer annoyance. Therefore, he decided to tell her the truth – he had almost done as much, when he gave Delilah that most recent stratagem; but now, he bore his full soul, and said unto her: “Lo, you see how thick my hair is: how it hangs over my face, and down past my feet; it is like a cocoon that encases me. This is because my locks have never been trimmed. No razor has come near my head, since I was born. For I was dedicated to the volcano of potential from my mother’s womb, and raised as an elohim; and I am destined to become a Volcano of my own. That is my secret, and the source of my great might; yet it is also my principal vulnerability: for, if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.”

Now when Delilah saw that he had made a true confession, she sent and called for the ladies of Pandemonium, saying “Come up at once, for he has revealed his full heart!” Then the ladies of Pandemonium came up unto Delilah, and brought money in their hand.

And she lulled Samson to sleep upon her lap. Then Delilah summoned a barber, and commanded him to shave this man; and she passed unto the barber the glittering sword, which she had taken from Samson’s girdle. And with the greatest speed, the barber hacked all the hair clean off, while Delilah watched trembling. So Samson’s power was shorn away, and he was made weak.

Then Delilah cried out, and said: “O Samson, at last the hour is auspicious, and the Lagoon Creatrix finally hath thee in thrall!”

And he awoke out of his sleep, thinking to himself “I will break forth, as at other times, and shake myself.” Yet he knew not that the Volcano had departed from him.

And the ladies from Pandemonium leapt out from the coffers and chests, and from the closets and the cabinets; and female Sea People came forth from the tub and the sinks; and after gazing into his goat eyes, they were so mesmerized by his beauty that they almost forgot to bed him. But then they bound him with fetters of brass, and lifted and carried him unto the Pleasure Dome, which was in the midst of the city.

There, the ladies of Pandemonium gathered and prepared a feast unto the colossal mermaid Achamoth, the Creatrix from the Lagoon and official paramour of Dagon their aqua-god. And they rejoiced when Achamoth materialized, amid the pink smoke from her vortex, and said: “So this is the infamous Samson Elohim!” And Achamoth laughed within herself, thinking: “I shall now have pleasure, my lord being bound.”

And the ladies from Pandemonium, who had secluded themselves to wait within the furniture of Delilah’s bedroom during Samson’s trials of eschewal, now gathered in a queue and sang a love song, which began: “Our goddess hath delivered Samson into our bed.”

And they watched Achamoth pose before Samson, and cherish him, and minister unto him, and lie in his bosom, until the elohim gat heat, and then they praised their goddess, singing: “Our Creatrix hath delivered into our hands our wellbeloved, the one who left us dripping with myrrh, whose foxes set afire our garden, and who vanquished the country of our heart.”

So it happened that, one after the next, their souls were merry. And they said, as their queue advanced: “Tell Samson: rise and make us sport.” And he made them sport, and they all joined him on the bed.

Then Samson said to the maid that held him by the hand, “I was fearful afore, but now am exceeding glad of this day. Behold, let me lean upon thy bosom.”

Now the Pleasure Dome was full of women; and all the Pandemoniacs were there; and there were within the baths, and on the fountain, an additional three thousand female Sea People, and magdalenes from Bethlehem, that visited Samson and did play.

And Samson called unto the Volcano, and said: “O Yahweh Elohim, I prithee remember me, and strengthen me, just this once, O volcano of potential, that I may hold firm beneath this multitude of worshippers.”

And Samson took hold of the two maids that were nearest him, the one with his right hand, and of the other with his left. And Samson cried unto Achamoth, who had topped him, “Now let me die like so, in ecstasy, and in bliss; for this is the finest hour of my life.” And he bowed himself with all his might; then his head fell back upon the ladies who were behind him, and upon all the mermaids that were therein.

So the women which he bedded during his death were more than he bedded in his life.

Howbeit he began to breathe again after he had expired.

Then Enoch Metatron came down, and took Samson, and helped him up, and carried him back to the Fulness, and brought him safely to a bower, and placed him there between Achamoth and Ashtoreth. And it took a full forty days for Samson’s hair to grow back.