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Personal testimony from the Archon of Wonderland:
I Ozymandias was relaxing in my presidential residence. I fell asleep and saw a dream that made me afraid. So I summoned all the wise men of Wonderland to come and interpret my nightmare. Then all the magicians came to see me, along with all the astrologers, the soothsayers, and the personal trainers in Wonderland. And I placed my dream before them, but none of them could tell me what it meant. But finally Daniel stepped into the room, in whom is the spirit of the holy gods. So I put the dream in front of him, and said: “O Daniel, master of the magicians, I know that the spirit of the holy gods is in you, and you are a codebreaker who can decipher all the secrets; therefore, tell me what the only correct interpretation of this dream is that I saw. I will explain to you the dream’s features:
Right in the middle of the earth, there was a tall tree. It kept growing until it reached heaven: you could see it from the ends of the world. It had fair leaves, and much fruit: there was enough meat inside it to feed everybody. The beasts of the field took comfort under its shade, and the fowls of the air dwelt within its boughs. All creatures were fed by it.
Then a Watcher came out of the clouds and cried aloud, saying:
“Cut down this tree! Cut off his branches! Shake off his leaves! Scatter his fruit! Let the beasts flee from beneath his shade, and the fowls from his branches! – However, leave the stump of his roots in the earth; and let his portion be with the creeping things of the soil. Let his heart be changed from a man’s into a monster’s; and let seven times pass over him. Thus have the Watchers decreed.”
This is the dream that I Ozymandias have seen. Now you, O Daniel, must declare to me its meaning; for none of the wise men of Wonderland make sense of it.
Daniel was awestruck: he sat in silence for an hour, just thinking about this nightmare; and his thoughts troubled him.
Now the president said: “Daniel, do not let this awful dream perplex you.”
And Daniel answered, and said: “Mister President, I wish that your enemies had dreamed this dream, instead of you: for its interpretation is evil. I would rather not tell you. But, since you insist, here is the meaning:
“The tree that you saw, which grew so tall, and whose leaves were fair, and whose fruit so abundant, which served as shelter for the beasts and birds: that tree is you, O Mister President. For you are big and strong, and your greatness reaches into the sky, and your dominion to the edges of the earth.
“Now, when the Watcher came down and said: ‘Hew down the tree! Destroy it! Yet leave a stump, and transform this remainder of the trunk into a man; then cause a deep sleep to fall upon him, and steal his heart and put a monster’s heart in its place, till seven times pass.’ This, Mister President, signifies what your future has in store for you: because you shall be cut down from power, and you shall dwell with the beasts of the field, and you shall eat green grass as oxen do, and your flesh shall be moist with the dew of heaven, because you shall live outdoors for seven seasons.
“And the stump represents your country: its roots were left, so that you can return to governing, once you have completed your stint among the wildlife. So, my advice to you is to stop oppressing the Wonderlanders, and show mercy to the poor: that is the only way you will find tranquility.”
Then all this fate befell President Ozymandias. At the end of the year, he went up to the top of the tallest tower in his palace, and stood in a place where he could see the whole country, and he exclaimed:
“Ah, behold Wonderland! the greatest Empire ever, which I built with my own might for the honor of my majesty.”
Yet while the president was speaking these words, there fell a voice from heaven, saying:
“O President Ozymandias, it has been decreed: The Empire shall abandon you; and you shall be driven away from humankind, to dwell with the beasts of the field: you shall graze the green grass like oxen, for seven seasons. That is how long it will take for you to grasp that someone on high requests your fealty: this party demands that you admit that he is more powerful than you, since he can give or take away empires at will.”
And that very moment, the curse was fulfilled upon Ozymandias: he was driven from humankind, and ate grass like an ox, and his body was moist with dew from living outdoors; moreover his hairs were grown like eagles’ feathers, and the nails of his fingers were like the talons of birds.
Here, again, is the president’s own personal testimony:
At the end of seven seasons, I Ozymandias looked up at the sky, and my understanding returned to me; then I blessed the Lord Enlil, god of the wind, who lives forever: for his dominion is everlasting, and all the inhabitants of the earth mean nothing to him; he acts only upon the impulses of his Airforce, and none can stay his hand, or say to him “Stop bothering us!”
At that instant, when I changed my allegiance away from Lord Marduk, and turned instead to worship the Most High Enlil, my human reason returned unto me; and the glory of my empire, and my honor, and my brightness all came back. Then my magicians and intelligentsia sought me out, and they reinstated me at the presidential palace, and sat me down before the executive desk, and excellent majesty was added unto me.
Now I Ozymandias praise and extol the Owner of All: The Lord God Enlil, whose works are truth, and whose ways are judgment; and I say to whoever walks in pride: “Beware, for he will abase you.”
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