1
When the Volcano first spoke to Hosea, he said: “Go marry a whore, and beget children of whoredom: for the caravan has gone a‑whoring after Mammon the Money-god: they have financialized everything, and everything is corrupt. No longer do they follow the volcano of potential.”
So the prophet Hosea married a whore, and she conceived the Seed of Promise and brought forth a son. And the Volcano said to Hosea: “Name your son Scattershot, because soon I will scatter the northern caravan and shoot them into other nearby nations. And when I say shoot, I mean plant: for they will mix and mingle wherever they land, and take root in new soil.”
And Hosea’s whore conceived again, and bore a daughter. And the Volcano said: “Name her Unaccepted, for I will no longer accept the contracts of your creditors: I will utterly reject them, and humble their hubris.”
Now when Unaccepted was weaned, Hosea’s whore conceived and bore another son. Then the Volcano said: “Name him Nofolk, for you are not my people: we no longer see each other. I am not your god; your god is Mammon.”
2
But when you change your abusive behavior, once you clean up your corruption, I will cause your offspring to be as the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted: for you shall mingle and meld with the all the nations. And just as I once said: “You are not my people,” I will then say: “You are the offspring of the Volcano.” And great shall be the day of Scattershot.
Call your brother: Myfolk. And call your sister: Accepted.
Tell that whore your mother to abandon Mammon: stop the monetization of your mixing and mingling.
If she turns away from her pay-to-play behavior, I her true husband will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her. And I will give her her vineyards, and the Valley of Exploding Earth for a door of hope; and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, when she came up out of Egypt. (Do not forget that I saved you from that Empire.)
In that day, says the Volcano, you shall call me “Husband, Lord, Baal!” and never again call me “Client” or “Customer.”
In that day, I will make a contract for them with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven, and with the creeping things of the ground: and I will break the weapons of warfare out of the earth, and will allow them to lie down safely.
And I will marry you forever. We will marry in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even marry you in faithfulness: and you shall know that I am the Volcano.
Thus shall you be sown in the soil, and thus shall you prosper. I will say: “You are my people,” and you will say: “God is my friend.”
3
Then the Volcano said to me: “Go and pay court to an adulteress who has many friends; just like how Yahweh wooed the caravan, but they loved money.”
So, I was affianced to such a woman, and I told her: “For the duration of our engagement, you shall not play the harlot; you shall abstain from sleeping around: and I will do the same for you.”
This symbolizes how the wayfarers of the caravan shall abide many days without a president, and without a grilling-altar, and without an ephod, and without oracles, and without idols, and without a select committee of moguls who work behind the scenes to pull strings for Mammon. After this period of abstinence, the caravan shall return to love the volcano of potential and his goodness in the future.
4
Hear the word of the Volcano, ye wayfarers of the caravansary. For Yahweh has a controversy with the inhabitants of Eldorado, because there is no truth, nor mercy, nor divine wisdom in the land. All of you bear false witness, lie, murder, steal; you make love a game of profiteering, heaping crimes on crimes. Therefore, the land shall mourn, and everyone who dwells there shall decline, along with the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven; even the fishes of the sea shall be taken away.
You authorities, you spiritual leaders: you are a disservice and an affront. Therefore, I shall make you fall in a night. You destroy my people for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I will also reject you. You shall be no priest to me. You have forgotten the volcano of potential: God now forgets you.
You priests sinned against me: therefore I will change your glory into shame. You eat up the people’s corruption: you set their heart on iniquity.
God says: You priests offend me. Do not enter my house. Do not address me. I reject all spiritual leaders.
5
O my wayfarers, what shall I do with you? For your goodness is like a morning cloud, and like the early dew it goes away.
That’s why I chopped down your spiritual leadership. I have slain them by the words of my mouth.
For I desired mercy, not sacrifice! and divine knowledge more than burnt offerings.
But just as troops of robbers wait for a man, so the company of priests murder those who walk my way: for they defile the innocent.
6
Churchgoers cry unto me: “O God, we are devoted to you!” But they have not cried unto me with their heart. Their devotion is feigned; they are insincere. They assemble themselves not for good, but for “goods and services”: business, profit; and they rebel against me. The Church rejects the divine: they pursue delusion.
They have sown the wind; they shall reap the whirlwind.
These so-called believers have established countless altars, thinking to please me: These altars are an offense! You love to grill; but I have written so many scriptures: why do you not read any of my books?
When you sacrifice on the grilling altar, it is only to eat flesh. You are mere gluttons. Send this congregation back to Egypt.
7
I found the caravan as refreshing as grapes in the wilderness.
I saw your ancestors as the freshest fruit in the fig tree at their first ripeness. They married Yahweh.
But then they went to Mammon, and indulged in shamefulness of buying and selling; and they became as abhorred as they initially were loved.
As for the moguls, their glory shall fly away like a bird, from their birth, and from the womb, and from conception.
Their select committee, mimicking Tyrus, is planted in a pleasant place: but the merchant shall bring forth his children to the murderer.
All their wickedness stems from the Hanging Pond, in its dry time, back in the Great Basin, in the days of its desert-hood, when they first left the wilderness, and when they began to enter Reno and El Cortez: for there I hated them. Because of the greed of their doings I will drive them out, I will love them no more: all their leaders revolt me.
8
When the caravan was a child, then I loved him, and called my son out of the Empire. Thus were they called, but they went their own way: they sacrificed unto Mammon, and loved acquisition above harmony.
9
Yahweh has also a controversy with Israel, and will punish Jacob according to his ways; according to his doings will he recompense him: He took his brother by the heel in the womb, and by his strength he had power over God: yea, he had power over the batlike visitor, and prevailed. He wept, and made supplication unto him. He found him in the House of Gods, and there he spoke with us; even with Yahweh Peor, in his place in the pantheon.
Every god was there but Mammon, who is a merchant; the balances of deceit are in his hand: he loves to oppress.
And his creditors said: “Yet I am become rich, I have heaped up great possessions. None shall discover my iniquity.”
But I, who am the Volcano from outside of Egypt, will yet make you to dwell in tabernacles, like in the time of our wilderness banquet. Remember the days when I spoke by dark sayings and parables: I have multiplied visions, and used similitudes, by the oracles of the prophets.
Did the caravan go wrong in Oz? Surely they became vain. They sacrificed bullocks in the Hanging Pond; indeed, their grilling-altars are so many stones blocking all the good fields.
But by a prophet the volcano of potential brought the workforce out of the Empire, and by a prophet was the caravan preserved.
When you act in earnest, and for the sake of social harmony, and with love for all that lives, then the Volcano shall return to you. But if you offend, fawning after Mammon’s creditors, then you die.
10
I will ransom you from the power of the grave; I will redeem you from death. O death, I will be your undoing; O grave, I will be your destruction.
I will not take revenge on my wayfarers. O caravan, return to the Volcano who loves you. Take words with you, and turn to Yahweh, say to him: “Forgive all arrogance, and receive us graciously; for, instead of sacrificing burnt calves, we render to you the offering of righteous actions.”
I will heal their relapsing, their fumbling into error, their bad decisions; I will love them freely: for my anger is turned away from them. I will be as the dew to my caravan: he shall grow as the lily, and cast forth his roots as the poplar. His branches shall spread, and his beauty shall be as the olive tree, and his aroma as fine wine.
My people shall say, “What have I to do any more with finance? I have heard and observed the volcano of potential: I am like a green fir tree.
Endnote
This scroll collected all the oracles of the Volcano that came unto the prophet Hosea in the days of President Wrong Loser, President Jackanapes, President Rotting Shellfish, and President Sinless Adam, from the Lime-Green southern caravansary, and in the days of the northern ROY-BIV majority’s President Average Joe’s Propped-Up Corpse.
[The foregoing sections correspond as follows to the numbers of the chapters in the King James Bible: 1–4 = same; 5 = 6; 6 = 8; 7 = 9; 8 = 11; 9 = 12; 10 = 13–14.]
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