26 October 2014

Chatnotes & translation of emojis

The following claptrap is just stuff that I deleted from a letter that I wrote to a friend. The reason that I deleted it is that I thought it sounded too preachy. The reason I'm posting it here is to clutter cyberspace. No, I'm just joking about cluttering cyberspace – the real reason that I'm posting it here is... dang, now I forgot.

Notes on chatting

Since I know that my efforts at communicating here might be lost with the click of a button, I've begun the habit of composing my responses offline; this causes me to write and think as I would if I were sending a paper letter via the post office, as opposed to blurting out knee-jerk reactions in an online chat box. At first, I assumed that it would be annoying to employ this precaution; but it has turned out to be a good thing: because it provokes me to answer my friends with greater care. I’ve often lamented the cheap and ephemeral things that I've written to people when lured by the ease of instantaneous communication, whereas I’ve always loved reading the deeper and more reflective thoughts that tend to spring from the medium of handwritten letters.

To be clear, although I enjoy stating things pedantically, I only do so as a sort of joke – I don't like the dusty formalism associated with the stuff that one businessman writes to another businessman. Mostly I love to read a writer who is spontaneously rambling; and this kind of informal, discursive communication between friends is what I find when I read the collected letters of my favorite poets.

In lieu of affixing a cute cat photo to my reply, I'll end this with some emojis, to soothe your soul:

TRANSLATION: "Clap, boom, star, metal, panda, snowman, 8 ball, thumbs up, OK, bowtie, cold sweat, smiling imp, scream, green heart, middle finger, dancers, kitty cat with shiny hearts for eyes, big sexy tongue, rage, alien, broken heart, thumbs down, nail care, WRONG COP, ogling, angel, frog, the Americas, moon, snake, umbrella, pig snout, cactus, globe with meridians, volcano, movie camera, telephone receiver, thunderbolt, postbox, moneybag, clavier, high heel, Heineken, lipstick, hammer, VHS cassette, bells prohibited, Holy Spirit, radio, space invader, crown, bikini, rocket, Bundesrepublik Deutschland, USA, 100."

P.S.

Huge robots that vandalize cities might like Furniure Beat 000029. (I made it myself, yestermorn.)

P.P.S.

Below is a passage from VINELAND by Thomas Pynchon, which I'm uploading in lieu of sharing a photo of my lunch:

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