12 April 2015

Two facts

Before I share two proven facts here on this blog, I need to give myself an important reminder:

NOTE TO SELF: Don’t forget to purchase your latest book. It’s not the twin volumes whose covers went viral yesterweek (Vol 1 & Vol 2) – no, it’s the last of the many absurdities that I composed over the past Seven Years of Social Famine.

However, if you look closely at the back cover of the second half of my two-part collection that I mentioned up top, you’ll notice that this latest book will be included in that volume; so actually I advise against purchasing it on its own, unless you fancy the notion of making me even richer.

Obligatory image

Now here is a detail of some art that I discovered on the side of a package of bandages:

And, finally, here are the two facts that I promised to tell myself:

Fact #1:

Last night I was excited and blissful because, in my dream, I inherited an apartment that was fully furnished. Although it contained many other luxuries, for some reason I chose to wander from room to room, counting all of its beds. The place was equipped with more than twenty-six beds. And three of them were bunk beds.

Fact #2:

The time that is displayed on our coffee machine’s digital clock differs from the time that is displayed on our wood stove’s face clock, because our wood stove spent some moments inside a black hole.

7 comments:

kinky won said...

26 beds? Did you see where all the sheets were kept?

chickadoo said...

i just typed here and now it's gone. i said this tho---------> "i thought you were on vacation?! i now have too many boooooooooks to choose from." (the last bit was paraphrased as i can't remember exactly how i said it).

Bryan Ray said...

The sheets were right here: www.friendster.com/sheets

Bryan Ray said...

Chickadoo!! You made it thru!! – Now I’m embarrassed because I delivered that long speech about eschewing promotion only moments before you caught me committing this self-advertisement, hahahahaha! ...I swear that the book pictured above is just the very last one – it’s the runt of the litter – and now I really am on vacation... As you know, things move slowly in the publishing realm: it’s like when you see a firework explode in the distance, and then about four months later you hear its bang. – Anyway, I’m glad to hear from you, and I apologize for this commenting system’s kleptomania – someday I’ll force it to refund all our confiscated Gods!

Bryan Ray said...

P.S. Pardon the repetition if you get three notifications about my above reply – that's not the network's fault; it's my own: I kept revising the comment. My official uniform should be a T-shirt that says "FINICKIEST INTERNETTER."

Anonymous said...

(SILENTLY PROTESTING IN THE BACK GROUND)

Bryan Ray said...

[Basking in the sounds of silent protest.]

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