Dear diary,
I will put a star (*) when the entry truly begins. This stuff that I'm writing right here is the fake beginning. I'm only speaking in order to prepare you for what follows. It's like, if you visit a museum, and you enter one of the rooms where paintings are displayed, and there's one painting that has a cloth draped over it, hiding its appearance; so you approach the draped canvas, and suddenly a panel in the nearby wall slides open, just like those smooth metallic doors on spaceships that open automatically in science-fiction films, and out from the wall steps the artist of the presently veiled painting. She (the artist) addresses you (the museum-goer) directly, saying:
Hi. Sorry to bother you. I'm the artist of this here masterpiece that has the drape covering it. The reason my canvas is hidden from sight is that I prefer to address each viewer directly before revealing the work. I wish to explain that, tho I am indeed the painter of this painting, I do not stand by the image that resulted from my efforts. That is all. Thank you for listening.
Then the artist returns back into the auto-closing wall-panel, and a mechanical claw from above lifts the drape off the canvas. You stand and stare at the painting before you. It's not very good, you decide. The artist herself was far more intriguing. Her voice was attractive, and you liked the fact that she was devoid of clothing.
So I've said what I have to say. Now here's my dull entry:
*
Actually, let me say one more thing before we start. The reason I'm against this entry is that it mostly deals with politics. I hate politics; but the subject was on my mind because, as I explain in the foulness that follows, I wrote it during the most heated hours before U.S. Voting Day; and one cannot escape the...
I gotta cut myself off, or else I'll end up writing the whole droopy thing all over again. One simple point that I want to stress, however, is that, in the Big Bad Battle Between Labor & Management, I side with labor. So whatever side sides with labor is the side I side with. And by labor I mean We the People as opposed to our Dreaded Rulers. The individual souls of the populace, against "the elites" or "the establishment". But I'm all out of hope; I'm very mopey about The People's prospects of progress. I'm sad and depressed. And in all my moody brooding below I intended to write an entry where I say basically "Let's give up; for why not? Let's just join the people who are against us and let everything fail and then either collectively croak (if it turns out that humankind is a frog) or rise from our ashes (if it turns out that we are a prince: the gold-feathered bird in the palm at the end of the mind). But I fear that my words slunk away from me, as words are supposed to do: that's their job. Yet in this instance it bothers me, more than it usually does, that my aims were unclear; because I imagine certain minds deducing from my following drone that I am NOT being ironic, here & there, but rather siding sincerely with, say, the views of my earthly bio-parents (God forbid!); therefore I beg the gentle reader to judge my statements according to the following rules of thumb:
- If what I say disturbs you, I did not mean it.
- If what I say allures you, I meant it robustly.
- If I seem stupid in what I write, I probably am: those are my most genuine utterances.
- & if any passage seems factually inaccurate, obtuse, or easily provable·wrongable, that gets the 100% Bryan Ray Stamp of Endorsement — that's the shit I love most.
So I got the blues cuz I don't believe that any of the claptrap below contains enough of the last of those four bullet points.
Thus, at exactly 6:28 a.m., Bryan cried with a loud voice, saying: Dada, Dada, lama sabachthani? (Mark 15:34)
P.S.
We’re now in that moment of time where everyone is campaigning for office, because, here in the U.S., there are always elections impending, and these elections will seriously make or break our existence. So what happens is this: two huge elephants, which call themselves Reps and Dems, dominate the playing field. And by field I mean wasteland. You must vote for either a Rep or a Dem, and both look luscious; that is to say: elephantine. They both suffer from economic elephantiasis (a condition in which one aim of a group becomes grossly enlarged due to gorging of the pleonexic vessels, typically by money-worshipping parasites). There are no burros anywhere, no asses in existence, politically speaking; for the beasts of burden are humanity, which went extinct after World War Last. Even far before that. I’m not being facetious; I’m merely stating the truth – of course, hamfistedly.
So your mom & dad are both Reps, and most of your neighborhood salutes the Reptile party. But a few of the entertainers that you enjoy from movies and television cheerlead for Dems. Plus your teachers at school all pledged allegiance to Dino (Dem In Name Only). And you yourself side with the Dinosaur-Reptilians; but only reluctantly—you’d never admit this fact, let alone advertise it. When anyone asks you to reveal your political affiliation, you say “I am socially doomed and fiscally anathema.” That’s the fad thing to say, at this bad moment. You’d never dare admit that you donate all your spare luck to the Socialists and Communists, because that type of act will get you nuked, in a Free Democracy…
I’m descending too far into jokery again. I really meant to make this one big point: I’m sick of hearing that each side’s agenda will save the alterverse. (Alter + universe = the other side of the wind.) “The right wing will save the world!” says the Dem. “No, the far-right wing will save the world!” counters the Rep.
Ever since I was a sprout, I’ve been told that Problem X exists due to the fact that we haven’t been Republican or Democrat enough. So here’s my solution:
Let’s surrender to the enemy. This is what I mean: Say, for the sake of argument, that we’re all Democrats. OK, so our enemy is the Republicans. We believe that the Republicans will ruin the world, if they come into power. But the Republicans believe the opposite: they believe that WE the Dem Dullards will ruin the world with our fum·duckery. My proposal is that we, the Dinos, relinquish power—give up ALL our power—unto the Reps, on one condition: that those Reptiles set a date by which they must save the world, or else they will agree to disband and retire in luxury. And the date cannot be more than one eon away. What’s wrong with my logic? I’ll gladly sacrifice my own generation (for whom I speak) to Republican rule, just to prove that it might not work; and then they’ll ride off into the sunset forever. Time will know them no more. Yes, they’ll return only moments after tomorrow, to reclaim what they own. (What they rightfully stole.) My generation is already ruined, anyway; there’s no way we’re awaking from this nightmare. So bow to the reaper. The worst that can happen is that our enemies really do manage to save the world. If they make the globe into a paradise, by cutting taxes for crooks and throwing Innocence in jail…
I’m being unfair. I take it all back. Vote for the Dems or vote for the Reps. Yes, vote how you like. It’ll help or hurt, and your children will either be happy or unhappy. The world will go on, or it’ll change; and, if it changes for the worse, then maybe some creatures will enter into existence who enjoy this worser world; but if the world happens to change for the better, we will all be roughly a decade older then, and we’ll be preoccupied with new diseases that have breached our paradise’s hermetic seal. We’ll be so thankful for whoever is nursing us; either that or we’ll be cursing our political opponents for abolishing the nursing profession. The important fact is that we’ll all eventually expire. OR, if the scientists end up “solving” death, so that nobody ever again needs to undergo expiry, then maybe God will evict us from this globe, like he kicked us out of Heaven.
And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us: and now, lest he take also of the Tree of Life, and eat, and live for ever—
Therefore the LORD God banished humankind from planet Earth. (Genesis 3:22-23)
And the new planet that we’ll be jettisoned to will be made of pure gold, which looks like transparent glass. And there’ll be no stuffy temples or nasty churches therein: no organized religion, let alone politics; for Satan the Devil and his GOAT are its sole pyramid. And this new planet will have no need of the sun, because it won’t need anything to shine on it: for it will have the glory of the Devil to illuminate it from within, with a nice warm glow; and the GOAT is the light. (Light and love are the selfsame here.) And the nations of them which are damned to this new planet shall walk in its lovely inward light: and there will be a true democracy on its earth, which will bring glory and honour to every living creature. No kings, no ruling class, no gods. And the gates of the worldwide city shall never be shut: for there shall be no exterior there; no outside, no others. No enemies. Nor day nor night. Or rather, there will be a sort of unending half-night, like a twilight zone, and all the gates and doors are clean removed: they all got taken down off of their hinges. And we will feast our eyes upon a pure river, filled with the water of life, proceeding out of the throne of God and the Lamb.
(I’m plagiarizing the Book of Revelation, in case it’s not obvious – near the end, from about chapter 21:22 to 22:5.)
And in the midst of this new planet’s capital city will be a public path, which will not really be a street but rather a spiritual tube, like a wind-tunnel, thru which a magnet-train will fly (or some such newfangled craft); and on either side of its river, which will consist of liquid crystals, there will be planted a Tree of Wisdom, whose leaves will emit a sexy scent.
And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be occupied by the Devil and his GOAT; and all poets shall serve him, but their servitude is really just for show, because the poets collectively operate the Devil like a puppet, via telekinesis, sort of like auto-writing; and the GOAT is The People.
And we future-folk shall look into his face (I’m speaking of the Devil now); and our names shall appear in his forehead. This signifies that he is thinking of us, that we are on his mind. So he probably loves us, after all.
& there shall be no daylight there; no death-rays of mid-afternoon; neither any market, where one can die from thirst amid water-vendors. So we’ll need no candles in the future, neither electric light fixtures, or dimmer switches that malfunction, or even the sun; for the LORD God took his sun and left us. Let them reign for ever, elsewhere.
2 comments:
God damn dimmer switchers!!!
We have reached an agreement. Let it be noted: The Council of Divinities officially decrees that, under penalties of impoliteness, God must damn all dimmer switches.
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