Dear diary,
The existence of Facebook and Twitter is proof that nothing matters; for if anything really mattered, Facebook and Twitter would not have been permitted to exist. Instead of these privately owned networks, we would possess a network called Faulconbridge (named after the Bastard in Shakespeare’s Death of King John), and an alternate network named Klee (after the painter Paul Klee, whose “Twittering Machine” is a masterwork from 1922 which, according to the Encyclopedia of Art, “blends biology and machinery to depict a group of birds on a branch-wire connected to a hand-crank”); these networks would be fully transparent and owned by us all collectively — they’d have been created by the Global Populace, and they’d be maintained by the Citizenry of the World. All changes to these networks would be implemented by a process that is directly democratic: one vote per soul; and, in the rare case of a tie, the power of veto would belong to mine uncle Marvin.
I repeat, the fact that we do not enjoy the above situation but rather an entirely different situation is proof that nothing matters: nothing at all.
“We should cry for ourselves, because we are in hell.”
—Officer Duke, from the film Wrong Cops (2013)
And everyone’s always talking about rights. Let me tell you about rights. The only right that we have is to die in agony. THAT’s gonna happen whether we like it or not. You can’t simply legislate away the Doom-funnel. But people talk about the right to healthcare, the right of free speech, the right to privacy… animal rights, property rights… the United Statesians even sometimes mention (when they gather around the water coolers at their office jobs) the Bill of Rights, which apparently refers to the first ten amendments to the U.S. Constitution. Note that amendments means changes. This “bill” was ratified in 1791. So, for more than fifteen hundred years after Jesus was given the Punishment of Death by Torture (in violation of the Geneva Conventions), the People of this Land had no Bill declaring their own Ten Precious Rights, according to the Constitution of the… shit, now I forgot which place we were talking about.
My point is that all rights are just words on paper. And paper can be shredded. (My boss owns a mechanical paper shredder.) Better yet, the written word can be ignored. So the only enforceable rights are whatever was possible before you began to play your stupid game of “Civilized World”. People from other galaxies do not have rights. There are multiple universes—“multiverses”—that you don’t even know about (I know about them but you don’t), and these realms barely care about human rights. This means that they honor rights until some lobbyist comes along who’s willing to give a fig to countervail such honor, whereon the Law Trophy is transferred to the fig-payer. So the phrase “You’re violating my rights!” is something that you keep yelling while someone is jailing you. And, once you’re jailed, no one can hear you anymore; therefore go ahead and keep yelling the aforesaid phrase: perhaps it’ll eventually become a mantra, and you can meditate upon it silently.
No, rights are something that must be participated in voluntarily by all parties — rights are not part of the logic of violence. Or, rather, if you’ve made rights enforceable by armed bureaucrats (wrong cops), then you’re undermining the concept from the get-go. Because somebody on point within the tiptop echelons of our Great Pyramid Scheme always figures out that there are a sufficient amount of individuals amid the “muscle” of the body politic who value a bullet over a bullet point. I mean, they understand that someone can voice a thot, but this thot can be stopped by shooting a gun at the brain. It’s blood simple.
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