This & more

Proof that the universe is falling apart: 

My mom had to cancel Turkey Day 2021 because two family members couldn't make it. Then she rescheduled the holy event for a couple weeks later, but, on that day, a winter storm buried our town in snow; and the plows did not come out to clear the roads (this is odd for Minnesota: usually armies of plows appear immediately and make repeated passes, even during the snowfall); so the second Tee-Day went the way of the first. 

And it's been more than seventy-two hours since any mail got delivered (that's three full days: enough time for a crucified savior to resurrect), because the post office sez that they cannot access our mailboxes, due to the bad road conditions — and keep in mind that we're in the lead-up to Christmas, so everyone is expecting cards and packages. 

Plus my shirt ripped when I tried to pull back my sleeve the other day.

And yestermorn, when I tried to use my computer, its screen told me that its operating system was designed too poorly to continue working. So now I must purchase an external storage drive to see if I can back up my precious data; then either do a total system-reset or else buy a replacement lemon.

Additionally, many of my keyboard's keys have stopped responding to my touch, because I hit them too often. And they're supposed to have white characters printed on their tops, so that an author can know which letter she is pressing, but several of these labels have worn off and are now just blank. Here's a rundown: 

I have no "E" key... no "U" key... no "I"... & no "O"... neither is there an "S", a "D", "H", "K", "N", "C", "V", nor an "L" key. So I'm in the dark and must rely on faith alone, whenever I wish to type the word "Nosdilkhuvec", which happens to be the name of a lovebird who visits me nightly. 

Ah! & now that I'm looking closer, I realize that I also lack a left-pointing arrow.

So that's all proof that the universe is collapsing. Plus people are meaner than they used to be. And nobody believes in Christianity anymore, least of all the Christians. Therefore God is preparing to make his long-awaited debut into society; and, after He judges everybody, He'll create a new Heaven and Earth, and roll the old ones up. Then we Saved Souls can all move back into the Garden of Paradise, and sin and fall again. Unless He eliminates our volition.

I bet that robots think they have free-will tho. All you need to do is program them to believe such a thing.

Yet, regarding my broken-computer situation, I wonder why I care so much about losing data? What could I possibly have stored on my device that is so important? It's true that I solved all the world's problems, but I never figured out how to make my answers palatable.

Let me just spend the rest of this entry goofing off. If you're the type of reader who would never read me, then go ahead and stop reading me now...

I'm imagining a giant cake. It's so big that one must use a ladder to frost it. This cake is delivered to a person who's in jail. Now, this giant cake is hollow, and, until this instant, an angel has been hibernating within it. So, just as the prisoner is planning to lick the cake, the angel bursts out of its frosting and uses her arms to bend the iron bars of the jail cell. The prisoner then thanks the angel and escapes thru the bent bars into freedom.

Now I imagine a frog that, when kissed, becomes a...

Now I'm wondering why children pretend to have tea parties. I mean, nobody wants to see kids doing hard drugs and drinking booze, but, as long as they're only pretending, why not dream big? Enjoy a three-martini lunch.

Let's lurk around the back alleys of the city until we find some riffraff. Then lets reform these folks and pay for their college, so that they can practice law. 

If each of us were forced to visit an abusive male once annually on his birthday and offer him a gift that might be construed as heartfelt, I think I'd give him a plastic begonia. What would you choose?

P.S.

I've noticed that whenever an institution attempts to crack down on any undesirable activity, all the members of that institution end up embracing the very activity that they're charged with eradicating. For instance, our city of Theif River Falls in Minnesota recently noticed that a large part of the populace had grown addicted to gambling; so, to reverse this trend, we instituted an Anti-Gambling Squad, but it might as well just be renamed the Gambling Squad, because, under the guise of "field research", all its officers do all day is gamble, and they totally love it. Plus they keep winning big. Therefore, to date, not a single problem-gambler has managed to kick the habit. It's an awful letdown: Everyone just keeps on winning.