[To be clear, I shall not share the original text of the following five slips that were found in fortune cookies; I will only give each saying's correct interpretation.]
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The Phantom of the Battleground is enjoying his vocation responsibly. You’re the Bambi Girls, and he’s your evil twin.
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When you were born, you were wanted by the FBI, because your very first dream would not stop recurring, wherein, after emerging from the womb, you would transform into a gigantic snowplow and push everyone around.
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Do you remember, back in the Chamber of Sickness, when you enjoyed an order of yellow fever? Well now I offer you this broken radio, and also this phonograph that needs a new needle.
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Just sit and let your wheels spin for a while. Float all around. Generate energy, so that your relatives can bottle and sell it.
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There are people who refuse to practice human decency; these people run corporations that benefit from harming society. Knowing this, let us grill some pork frankfurters. Instead of ushering the aggressors away from their tiptop position and gently reseating them in the middle of the economy (just above us), let us party all night.
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