“Hello there, Doc. You sure look ravishing in your pure white lab coat.”
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bryan, what is the cause of your visit today?”
“Well, Doc, you see, me and the mistress have a desire to procreate, so that we may continue the human race, but we do not understand how children are manufactured.”
“OK, well, why don’t you let me start by taking a look in your ear, Mister Bryan — it appears to be swollen and red. My assumption is that you need an antibiotic, plus a great deal of bedrest and plenty of fluids.”
“But that is not why I’m here. What does fathering children have to do with an ear infection?”
“Well, probably nothing at all, but let’s take a look at your throat as well, just to make sure we’ve covered all the bases.”
“Alright, enough with the jokes, Doc. I want to bear offspring; that’s the only reason we came to see you today…”
“But did you ever go on vacation and eat strange food in a foreign land, and then break out in hives?”
“Yes, but that reaction was caused by an allergy to sulfa drugs, which, incidentally, is what they prescribed as a treatment for…”
“I think we better test to see if you have a chemical imbalance.”
“Dammit, Doc, hold on! — you are violating your Hippocratic Oath by pestering me like this. Now, listen: I’m aware of my rights; I was trained in the law…”
“You really need to calm down, Bryan; I’m just following procedure.”
“But you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said!”
“Now I’m going to need you to remove your outfit and put on this sundress.”
NOTE. The funny thing about the ending of this report is that Bryan is forced to wear a style of clothing that is outside of his comfort zone.
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