Water that Freezes at Room Temperature

Are you familiar with the fact that normal water becomes solid when its temperature reaches the freezing point? Well then consider this: I have invented a style of water that remains ice at room temperature (roughly 72 Fahrenheit; 22 Centigrade; or 295 on the Kelvin scale); and, even as the heat increases, it maintains its solidity.

What this means is that my water is uncanny and fashionable. Just think about it: it stays frozen when the temp is high. Isn’t that odd? You can now hold a cube of ice in your hand — and, yes, it is painful — but it doesn’t even drip. Check it out: look at this stuff. Note that the room we’re occupying is pleasantly warm; but the bathtub’s like an ice rink! Now we should probably put our clothes back on.

So, to review, this new type of water is harder than a glacier even when it’s hot outside. I don’t even know if I should continue referring to it as “water” at this point; it really deserves its own name. Maybe it’s poisonous. 

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, if you love moisture as much as I do, and you prefer your water frozen in the summertime, then you should purchase my new substance. 

Further Reading

There’s even a lake near my village where we all go ice-skating during heatwaves. (I live sorta near Africa.) There’s always people at this lake hanging out, ice-fishing and drinking beer. I’m not lying — this is the honest-to-God truth. Nobody can swim there, because the water’s frozen shut! And there’s no water sports. There are kids in snowmobile suits building ice-castles; while hockey players are engaging in scrimmages, slapping the puck and getting “hat tricks” (that’s what we call it when a player scores three goals in a row). Close by, a Japanese figure-skating duo are taking a break from their intense rehearsal. You and I sit next to them on the bench, and the four of us enjoy sipping saki together. I propose a toast: “To warm ice”; and we clink our cups. Then, since you’re more comfortable with your body shape than I am with mine (for your figure is breathtaking), after finishing your beverage, you skate out onto the rink confidently topless and perform a triple lutz. You execute the move with perfection. We in the audience are so enchanted by your display that we all stand up as one and applaud; however, when doing so, I accidentally slip on the ice and hit my head and end up needing to get ten stitches.