Ghost Story

Once upon a time, on a night like tonight, thick darkness descended, and a ghost was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Once this ghost learned to float, he floated all the way to Queens County, New York, where he began to haunt the populace. His specialty was to give sleepers really bad dreams. And the more people he haunted, the bigger his phantom body grew. So this ghost then expanded to a tremendous size, and he developed the habit of creeping thru the fog every night while singing Halloween songs and Christmas carols. 

Now he begins to speed through the woods, faster than you would think was possible. Here he meets some ladies that are presently starring in a poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and when the ghost bumps into these ladies unexpectedly, they become terrified. With tears running down their faces, the ladies plead with the ghost, asking him not to drag them down to Hell. 

“I was going very fast when I ran into you,” the ghost says, “now I can’t even feel my legs.” 

The ladies beg the ghost to have mercy on their souls. 

“It’s freezing out here,” says the ghost; “don’t you wish you were more warmly dressed?” 

But all the ladies can think about are the burning flames that await them in the afterlife if this ghost gets his way. For they believe that he will certainly bite them with his fangs, which will cause them to enter everlasting agony. — And this very same fate could happen to you, if you don’t find enough jobs to pay your bills.