Puffalump

In 1986 AD, the Fisher-Price company created a line of lightweight stuffed animals known as Puffalumps. They consisted of silky nylon material filled with polyester fiber, which made them super fun to hug. You could also toss them down on the ground. These items were soft, and smooth like a shaven cat — the perfect gift to give to kids: 

“I bought you a Rolls-Royce Motor Car,” you say to your daughter; “but that’s not the real surprise,” you add; “just take a look inside.” 

Now your daughter opens the front door of her new automobile and sees that you have positioned a Puffalump Pillow Person in the passenger seat, with the safety belt buckled. 

“Wow, it’s puffy and round!” your daughter exclaims. “Very lumpy.” 

“The best practice, ethically speaking, might be to make a dress for the entity out of a pillowcase,” you suggest. 

“Sounds fun!” says your daughter. 

“I’m glad you like it. I was going to buy you a mechanical millipede, but, at the last minute, I chose this instead.” 

“I’m glad that you did,” your daughter says: “I love this Puffalump as much as Ed McMahon loves Johnny Carson.” 

“Me too,” you smile, “in fact, I used to joke and say: I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. But now I think I’ll change my catchphrase to: Pillow People make good cotton swabs.” 

At this moment, your wife returns home from work and parks her vehicle next to your daughter’s new Rolls-Royce in the driveway. She gets out of the car, and your daughter runs up and hands her the Puffalump, saying: “Mommy, look what I just got!” 

Your wife takes the Pillow Person and fluffs it gently and says: “Ooh, so moist!”