Romance Story

Bobby and Karen have a baby that’s cute, plus a house and a car that has extra-large airbags. 

Now I receive literally tons of fan letters from women saying that they like my romance story for one reason: It is not humdrum. They also claim that my story is sexy because it features a couple of people who fell in love and got married. They politely request that I write a follow-up or spinoff romance about the male character Bobby. — OK, I’ll try my best:

Bobby is a gentleman working on the waterfront. He is handsome and strong. He is sweating because he is hot. 

Suddenly a woman stands on the beach. She catches Bobby’s eye, and he experiences a yearning that is like nothing he’s ever felt. He goes and buys this woman a drink, and she smiles. They both talk for a while and get along well.

Bobby now returns to the dock on the waterfront, and the woman returns to the coastline. Since the two are physically separated, they engage in a long-distance relationship: they express their love for each other during nightly telephone calls.

So, both of our main characters end up moving to St. Louis a couple weeks after Christmas. They are happy together: their relationship will last forever. The woman’s name is Karen. She and Bobby now set a date to legally wed. The sacrament is scheduled to occur near the start of July. But they find out that it’s too hard to wait that long, so they change the date to Thursday, the 29th of September, 2022. Therefore, on next Saint Michaelmas, they become bride and groom: man and wife. I am writing this report of their successful love affair (which I now realize is actually a prequel rather than a sequel to the story that I wrote at the beginning of this essay) exactly thirty-three days after the matrimonial ceremony. In conclusion, the entire lot of us — author, audience, and actors — are all happy indeed.